Burn
by UTsSmutQueen
Summary: He's the craziest man she's ever met…or he's her guardian angel sent to protect her from harm. Either way, she knew he was going to be trouble. Undertaker X OC drama/comedy/supernatural fic.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note:

So this is a story that I had outlined and started a couple of years ago. For some reason I got to thinking about it and decided to finish it. I did change a couple of things though – so if you are one of the chosen few who read my original concept, it's going to be different from what you remember. So read and enjoy this sort of new sort of old story.

1-

The rock music that blared out across the crowd was so loud it was impossible to determine what song it was exactly that played. The patrons did not care a bit. Most of them had a reached that level of drunkenness where every joke was hilarious and every song was an excuse to grope someone on the dance floor.

CJ Stevens hated Friday nights with a passion. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy rock music, or working at the bar. She also didn't mind the tips that flowed into her pocket – the drunker the patrons, the better the tips most of the time – but the screaming and drum pounding were grating on her nerves. She much preferred working the Sunday through Thursday crowd. The music was a more mellow mix of classic rock, they didn't make use of the bar's lights to induce seizures, and even though they closed earlier and the customers were not nearly as wild, she actually made better tips because she took the time to talk to the people who came in.

It was impossible on Fridays and Saturdays though.

There was hardly enough room to move as she carried a tray loaded down with empty shot glasses back toward the bar to be washed and re-used. She managed to avoid a blonde who was either choking to death or dancing – CJ had no idea which one, and a guy who tried to grab her ass as she went by. That was even more annoying than the loud music. Her head was pounding in time with the drums, which at that point was all she could make out of the music as she finally reached the bar.

"Two more hours!" Jackie shouted as they crossed paths. Jackie was another waitress, and CJ's best friend. That was the only decent part of working Fridays – at least she knew Jackie would be there to help keep her sanity.

CJ glanced at her watch and sighed inwardly. That meant only an hour and a half until last call, and about eight years until she could go home where it was quiet. She swapped empty shot glasses for full and braced herself to go back out into the crowd. She resolutely refused to look at her watch again. It would only make time drag slower.

When they finally shut down for the night, Jackie locked the door with an overdramatic "whew". Unlike CJ, she liked Fridays. It took another hour to get the place semi-clean. There was an actual clean-up crew that would be there at nine in the morning to deal with the major cleaning. All they did was make sure all the bottles were tossed in the garbage, the glasses were in the industrial washers in the back, and all the money was locked up.

"You should work more Fridays." Jackie said, eying the stack of bills CJ kept pulling out of her apron pockets.

"I would sooner shoot myself in the face." CJ grouched. The money was the highlight for her, though. She counted it out quickly. One busy Friday, the invisible handprints of a hundred drunken men on her ass, and she was leaving with almost half a grand. It didn't make it worth it but it would pay for the hot water she was going to use to scrub off a layer of skin. Jackie might enjoy the occasional overzealous customer, and could turn it into big tips and occasionally a one night stand, but CJ hated it when customers thought they had a right to cop a feel just because they bought an overpriced mixed drink.

"I would miss you too much if you did that." Jackie laughed and counted her own money. "You coming with us to get some breakfast?" Stopping at the 24-hour diner a few miles down the road was a Friday night tradition with the employees at the bar.

"God no. I'm going home and taking a hot bath."

"Bah. You are no fun."

"I'm tired! Why aren't you tired?"

"Because I do this every week." Jackie fanned her money. "Come on! Ever since you dropped Adam, it's like you're trying to enter hermit-hood."

CJ made a face at the name. Adam. They'd dated for a little over a year, and he'd been hinting around at moving into CJ's house with her but she'd resisted. Thankfully. Because it was easier to break it off with him without having to worry about moving his stuff out of her house. He had cheated on her. Repeatedly. And then had the balls to blame it on CJ and her job at the bar instead of his own non-discriminating dick. It had been a month since she'd dropped him, and he still managed to call her, drunk call her, or butt dial her at least once a day. She still couldn't figure out how she put up with him for so long.

"You do realize that the only people eating at the diner right now are the same drunks we just kicked out of here?"

"I know. That's what makes it fun." Jackie grinned impishly. "Maybe that guy will be there."

"What guy?" CJ folded her money and tucked it into her pocket before grabbing a pen and filling out the last of her paperwork.

"You know. That guy. Tall. Dark red hair."

"You still aren't being specific enough."

"Good lord, Ceej. You seriously didn't see him? He was a head taller than everybody else in here. And he kept watching you."

CJ looked up at Jackie. "If you're saying that to try to freak me out…"

"Nope. Cross my heart." She drew and 'x' on her chest with her fingers. "It wasn't creepy-staring either. Like that guy last summer. He was just…you know…checking you out."

"Ugh. Fabulous."

"He was kinda hot." Jackie smirked. "If you're into that kind of thing."

"What kind of thing?" CJ asked, unable to stop the question.

"The whole dark, brooding thing." Jackie wiggled her eyebrows. "He had tattoos."

"You still aren't narrowing down the field."

"I'm trying. Jeez." Jackie frowned. "It's funny. When he was here I should have pointed him out because other than that hair and the tattoos, and the height…I can't describe him."

"Great. Well. It doesn't matter anyway. I don't know any tall, red-headed tattooed guys. And I don't want to know any tall, red-headed tattooed guys." CJ took her apron off and folded it over her arm, then signed off on her paperwork. She left it on the bar for the manager to pick up and deal with.

She went to the back only long enough to grab her purse and keys, and told everybody goodbye before she went out into the quiet that was four in the morning. She took a deep breath of clean air and sighed. At least the parking lot was deserted, except for the bouncers who would stand there until everyone was out, including the managers. She waved them goodbye before going to her car and sliding behind the wheel.

In deference to her headache, she didn't bother with the radio. It only took fifteen minutes to get to her house, so she enjoyed the quiet. CJ lived on the outskirts of town in a small farmhouse. Of course the house used to be part of a larger parcel of land, before her grandfather had parceled it out and sold it off bit by bit. The house was all that was left. It was here CJ had grown up. Her father had been career military and completely absent from her life, her mother had died when she was seven. CJ was raised by her maternal grandparents. And she had been something of a grandpa's girl. She had one surly bastard of an uncle who made it a point to remind CJ every year that the house should have rightfully been left to him.

She didn't care about that. What she did care about was that the place was hers, free and clear. It meant even working at the bar on slow nights didn't murder her budget. It had driven Adam crazy, that she lived the way she did, content to be a waitress at a bar when anyone could see she was better than that. He said CJ just had no _ambition_. Which was funny. A year together and he still had no clue that the bar was just a means to get out of the house and mingle with people. She made all of her real money writing. She blessed her penname every time a royalty check came in the mail. Or got direct deposited. She wasn't independently wealthy, and her books weren't popular enough for her to worry about some nosy reporter type cracking her penname, but she loved to write. And since she made money doing it, she considered it a win.

Plus a lot of her best ideas came from the patrons at the bar.

She turned down the long gravel drive that led to her house, already anticipating the hot bath. And maybe a glass of wine. She wasn't a drinker, but sometimes it helped her relax. She was off until Wednesday night, which gave her enough time to start outlining her next project. She had plenty of ideas too. It was just a matter of weeding out the bad from the good and…

She lost her train of thought at her headlights fell on a vehicle already parked in her spot. She cursed under her breath at the sight of the black pickup. "What the hell are _you_ doing here?" She muttered to herself as she slammed to a sharp stop next to the truck.

And there was the man himself. Adam was on her front porch, shielding his eyes from her headlights. She knew two things before she even opened her car door. First – Adam probably thought she was tired enough to be charmed into bed. And second – he was probably as drunk as any of the men she'd just dealt with at the bar.

"What the fuck do you want?" She asked as she climbed out of her car, a deep midnight blue Charger. Her dream car. It was the only thing she'd ever bought that she considered a real splurge.

"Hell, babe. Why the attitude?" Adam grinned. Yep, definitely drunk. He was wearing a pair of loose jeans, a button down white shirt with most of the buttons open, and his shaggy blonde hair was artfully swept back from his face. It took him hours to get that look down just right, a mix of laid back surfer and cowboy that he used to attract women. And CJ had just been one of many. Although now that she had some hindsight, she realized just how idiotic he was, pretending to be a beach bum surfer dude in a landlocked town in a landlocked state. And Adam had never seen a horse up close and in person his entire life. He worked at a gym, for fuck's sake. Of course being a personal trainer, his looks also came in handy at work but that was neither here nor there.

"Maybe the attitude is because I kicked your ass out and told you to stay fucking gone a month ago." CJ moved past him and unlocked her front door. And turned before he could crowd in behind her. She pushed him back with her hand on his chest. "Nope. You are not welcome here."

"Come on now, sweetheart." Adam grabbed her hand brought it up, pressing a kiss against her palm. As he did, she got a nose-full of the alcohol he'd been drinking.

"Good grief, jackass, did you swim in the barrel before you drove over here?" CJ snatched her hand back and wiped it on her shirt. "Go home. Feel free to wreck and kill yourself on the way."

"Babe…"

"Fuck off, Adam." She shoved the door shut and resolutely locked it. The top half was made up of glass squares she could still see him standing there, looking confused. Then upset. Then his face darkened angrily. He tried the doorknob, found it locked, and started pounding on the door even though he could plainly see her standing two feet in front of him.

"Open the door, CJ."

"Go away."

"This is my house, too."

She snorted. "Like hell! Just because I mistakenly let you sleep in my bed a few times doesn't make you co-owner."

Adam narrowed his eyes and rattled the door in its frame. "Let me in!" He punctuated it by slamming his fist into the window. The glass shattered. CJ just stared at it for a moment, shocked. Not only had the idiot broken her window but he'd also be sporting some scars because of it. He had glass sticking out of his knuckles in a few places.

It didn't seem to faze him. Adam groped for the deadbolt and smiled darkly when his fingers touched it. And that's when he was knocked away from the door with a yelp. It happened so fast that CJ wasn't sure exactly what had occurred. There was a thud from outside as Adam hit the wooden floor of the porch and a muffled grunt of effort.

Before common sense could assert itself, CJ stepped toward the door and reached for the porch light. She braced herself – because in all honesty she had seen about a million horror movies and this would be the killer's chance to reach through the broken glass and grab her.

Nothing happened. She flicked the switch that turned on the porch light and took an involuntary step back. Adam was still on the porch. And standing over him was a very big guy. He was looking down at Adam with contempt on his face before he looked up and met CJ's eyes through the glass window that remained in the doorway.

In the harsh glare of the porch light, two things stood out. The guy was tall, over six and a half feet. She had considered Adam to be a big guy at six-one but this one had him beat. Also he was very pale. Which made the tattoos on his forearms stand out even more.

CJ stepped back from the door and turned to run to the kitchen, where the house phone sat in its cradle. She punched in 911, turned around, and nearly screamed. The guy had come into her house while she'd had her back turned.

"How the fuck did you get in here?" She asked instead, phone pressed to her ear.

"Front door. The window is broken." The guy spoke in a deep voice that sent a chill down her spine. He was also looking her over with an interest that bordered on weird. At least in CJ's opinion.

And he had a point. The window was broken. But the door was still closed, she hadn't heard him open or close it, and the deadbolt was still on. "Don't come any closer to me." She backed up, keeping the butcher block island between them. She didn't like that the only light in the room came from a small bulb over the stove but it was better than nothing. Plus she could grab a knife if she had to.

"That won't be necessary." He said as if reading her mind.

"911, state your emergency." An official voice spoke into CJ's ear. Finally.

"Yeah. Someone just tried to break into my house." She listened for a moment. "Sort of. Yeah, they're still here. Two guys!" She rattled off the address and impatiently tossed the phone aside. "The cops are on the way. You should make yourself scarce."

"That won't be necessary either." He said. He didn't follow her around the counter. Instead he leaned on it, bracing his hands on it. In the dim light from behind him CJ saw he did indeed have red hair. Dark red. It was long, hanging well past his shoulders. He was wearing dark jeans and a black t-shirt. He was staring at her intently.

CJ thought they would probably stand there staring each other down all night when she heard a siren from outside. The guy turned his head – very slowly, _deliberately_ – and looked at the front door. He sighed. "It would have been a lot easier if you had just waited."

"For?" CJ asked, trying to keep the relief out of her voice as the police car stopped and red and blue lights flared through the front windows.

"An explanation." He said it as if she should have known.

As if. CJ edged around the counter and past the guy, who did not try to stop her, and ran to the front door. She freed the lock and opened the door, damn near tripping over the cop who stood there. He caught her and muttered under his breath when he spotted the man who had been in the house with her. CJ stood well away from both the stranger and Adam as both of them were handcuffed and settled into the back of two separate cruisers. She gave her statement, which amounted to nothing much. Adam was drunk, she had no clue who the other guy was, but they'd fought on her front porch and that was all she knew for sure.

The cop was nice enough to 'fix' her door, which amounted to duct taping a piece of cardboard over the hole. The damage was done. Lucky for her, CJ lived in a safe neighborhood. He also called a tow truck to get rid of Adam's truck that blocked her front door.

"Safe!" She snickered to herself as she headed upstairs as dawn broke in the east. She was going to take her well deserved bath, behind a locked and barricaded bathroom door, and then she would try to figure out what the hell had happened.


	2. Chapter 2

2-

CJ had to wait until her front door was fixed before she could go to the police station. Once the repair man showed up, it had been a pretty quick process. He tried to up-sell her to a more secure door. But then that would lead to replacing other doors, windows, and probably the entire outer shell of the house. And she liked it the way it was. Just because some drunken idiot had put his hand through the door didn't mean it happened regularly enough to install an alarm system.

The reason for the trip into town was that the police had contacted her that morning to ask if she wanted to file a temporary protection order against Adam – which would in theory keep him at a safe distance. Adam sober never would have attempted what he'd done last night, but Adam drunk was a different story. So CJ was more than willing to fill out the paperwork if it would keep him off her property.

She was in the midst of the forms, listening with one ear to the soft chatter around her as she wrote, when the cop working the front desk approached her. "Do you want to press charges?"

CJ smirked. "What would he be charged with? Trespassing?"

"It's better than nothing." The cop said apologetically.

"Yeah, but it's so much trouble." It would take at least a month for it to go to court – if it went to court – and then Adam would merely be fined. Probably a few hundred dollars since he broke her window. But trespassing wasn't a major crime so he would probably settle for a slap on the wrist. It wasn't worth it. "I think this is good enough for now. What about the other guy?"

The cop frowned. "What other guy?"

CJ raised an eyebrow. "You arrested him at my house last night."

The cop reached for a log book and flipped through it. "Right. Adam Richards. Drunk and disorderly, mandatory 24-hour lockup."

"There was a second guy."

"Not according to this." He showed her the paperwork. There was no mention of another arrest at her address. "Unless somebody didn't turn in their paperwork at the end of shift. It happens sometimes." The cop grinned. It made him look like a teenager. "Were you the one that roughed him up?"

CJ made a face. "Roughed who up?"

"Richards. He's got a hell of a shiner this morning." He indicated his left eye. "And a knot on the back of his head. I guess from hitting the porch."

"Wasn't me. He was drunk though so no telling who he got into a fight with." CJ finished her paperwork and thanked the cop before heading outside. She was just going to write it off as one of those weird things that happened sometimes. She'd heard enough stories to know there was no shortage of strange in the world.

She went around the side of the building to the public parking lot and sighed at the heat radiating up from the blacktop. It wasn't even noon and the temperature was already past ninety. She wanted to go home and sit in the air conditioning for a while before she got busy writing. Mentally she added swimming pool to the list of items she would one day like to buy for herself should the need ever come over her to spend enormous amounts of money. Normally she would go to Jackie's apartment. Jackie had a pool. On a day like today though it would probably be packed. Better to wait until Monday when most people went back to work.

CJ was so lost in thought that she really wasn't paying attention. She didn't realize that she was no longer alone until she felt someone grab her shoulders and roughly yank her backward.

She had time to utter a startled squeak before her would-be scream was drowned out by the honk of a horn as a car sped past, way too fast for the posted limit in the parking lot. CJ put a hand to her chest, felt her heart galloping away a mile a minute, and turned around to see the guy from last night standing there.

Except he was different.

At first, CJ was too shocked to register the changes. His hair was longer, and darker. It was a deep brown-bordering-on-black. And he had even more tattoos. It was her first really good look at the guy. He was still fair-skinned, with a dark goatee around his mouth and piercing green eyes. No wonder Jackie had noticed him. This guy would have normally been right up her alley.

"What…the fuck…" She managed to gasp out finally as she took a step back from the guy.

"Careful." His voice was the same, deep and lightly accented with a drawl.

"What are you, some kind of crazy person? Did you camp out here waiting for me to show up or…or…" CJ was so rattled she knew she wasn't making any sense.

"I told you, I could explain."

"Then do it." She moved another half step backward. "Why aren't you in jail? You got arrested last night."

"Sort of."

"Seriously?" The guy had said he could explain and he was going to be a smartass. It figured. "Ok, whoever you are. I'm not interested in whatever it is you're selling, got it? Go back to wherever you came from and just leave me alone." CJ started to turn but his next words drew her up short.

"I'm your guardian angel."

CJ snorted. "Yeah right. Tell me another one."

"I said I would explain. I didn't say you would believe it." He frowned at her when she took another half-step backward.

"Somewhere, there's a mental hospital with an empty bed with your name on it."

"Mark."

"What?"

"My name. Mark." He said it as if _she _was the slow one here.

"Lovely. And I'm sure your friends in the lockup ward are missing you."

He sighed. "How do I prove it?"

"Prove it?" CJ scoffed. "Short of a miracle, bud, I don't think you have a chance in hell."

"Really?" He moved. He was quick for a guy his size. CJ felt his hands on her shoulders again and he pulled her forward, once more out of the way of a passing car that sped out of the lot. She hadn't even noticed she'd stepped back far enough to be in danger.

"That doesn't prove anything!" CJ said heatedly, pushing her hair back from her face, ignoring the way her hands were suddenly shaking. That was two close calls in the space of five minutes. "Except that I need to pay attention to where I'm going." With that, she turned on her heel and pointedly checked for traffic before striding across the parking lot toward her car.

"I know a lot about you." The guy, Mark, kept pace with her.

"So? Lots of people do."

"Oh yeah? Do lots of people know your real name?"

CJ's steps faltered and she looked at him. His face was the picture of seriousness. "My real name is Caroline Joyce. Common knowledge."

Mark smiled. There was no real humor in it although it drew her eyes to his mouth. He had nice lips for a complete psychopath. "Caroline Joyce is what you changed it to after your grandfather passed away. Caroline for your mother, Joyce for your grandmother. And it worked out well enough since you went by CJ when you started going to school."

Now she was stopped in her tracks. She didn't want to be surprised. But she was. He had stunned her. "How the hell do you know that?"

"I know a lot." He smiled again. Just a slight lift of the corners of his well-formed lips. "Like your birthday is December 25th. And your mother thought it would be fitting to name you after the holiday."

Now she couldn't speak. Nobody knew that – not even her closest friends. From the time CJ could talk she had protested repeatedly to get her mother and grandparents to stop calling her by that godawful name. She hated it. It was so cute it made her want to throw up, and she had instinctively known she'd be teased mercilessly by the other kids if they got wind of it. Her mother had reluctantly shortened it to CJ because she hated calling her daughter Chris. She took great pains, even at six years old, to tell everyone her name was Caroline Joyce, to the point that even the teachers believed it.

"Your mom had you young. Probably the reason she liked your name so much." Mark continued. Now his slight smile was a full on grin, flashing even white teeth. "I'm more traditional myself. I would have gone with Holly or maybe Mary."

"There's no way you can know that stuff."

"I know _a lot_. I told you." Mark cocked an eyebrow. "Christmas Joy. Your birth name. December 25th, eight-twenty-eight in the morning, seven pounds six ounces. Raised by your grandparents after your mother passed away May 14th. You were seven. The only time you ever really regretted pestering her about your name was after she passed. Maternal grandmother passed November 1st nine years later. Right about the time you would have needed the female influence the most. Maternal grandfather passed away six years after your grandmother, and left you his house and what remained of the land he had owned until then. He parceled it off because it was too much to take care of alone and he lost heart after your grandmother passed. Should I continue?"

CJ blinked at him. It was the only answer she had. He started to speak, made a face, and reached out to grab her shoulders again. This time she wasn't nearly as surprised by the car that blew past them. It didn't seem to bother him a bit. In fact it barely put a damper on his speech.

"Should I get more…intimate? Would that help?" He was doing that oddly sweet half smile again. "You lost your virginity to Tommy Wilson during the senior trip to New Orleans. You didn't even like him really – but he pressured you into it. It was _horrible_." He sounded amused when he said the word. "Gave him another shot, and he failed again. Spring break that time. He was too nervous because the first time hadn't really gone like he'd thought it would. Too much porn, probably. That's what you were thinking the whole time. Even though you personally hadn't seen anything other than the soft-core kind at that point. Hardcore porn came later right? College roommates, you all thought it would be funny to 'borrow' a few from one of the guys that lived in the next dorm." He did air quotes. CJ was shocked by it because whenever she thought about it, she also thought of it as 'borrow' – because technically they had snuck over and swiped a couple of videos while one of the jocks next door had been out at practice. He'd never missed them. "The next guy to try you was Marshall Reeves. You dated him for a couple of months before you even let him…"

"Enough!" CJ finally recovered enough to put a stop to hearing a complete stranger relay intimate details about her sex life. "How the fuck do you know that? Any of that?"

"I told you."

"You're my guardian angel." She couldn't have put more scorn into her voice if she tried.

"Of a kind."

"What does that mean?"

"It means what it means." Mark shrugged. "I know you, though. I know things about you that no one else could possibly know. And I know them because I have been watching over you since you were about sixteen years old."

"Ok. That's it. I need to sit down." CJ looked over her shoulder at her car. "Correction. I think I need a drink."

"_I _think we need to talk."

"I didn't say I believed you."

"But you do."

"Undecided."

"Not by much." Mark raised an eyebrow. "And yes, I can read you. A little bit."

"What? Like read my mind?"

"Yeah. Ok. More like a lot. I can read a lot of what you're thinking. And I'm not crazy."

"You aren't putting very many points into the mentally stable column." CJ pointed out. "If you're my _guardian angel_, where are your wings?" Did she really just ask him that? She blamed the heat. It was making her as crazy as this guy.

"Haven't earned 'em yet." Although his voice remained steady, something in his expression seemed to change. To harden.

"Conveniently."

"Look. I could stand here all day and discuss the finer points of how this works, or we could go somewhere private and I can tell you why I'm here. Your choice."

"Because I want to be alone with a crazy person?"

"No. Because you need me to protect you from what's coming."

"And what would that be?"

"Trouble." Was Mark's simple answer. "Death. I mean to stop it. If I can."

CJ had no snappy comeback for that one. In fact, the absolute serious tone of voice coupled with the look in his eyes did more to convince her than all of his revelations about knowing her did. She gestured to her car. "Fine. Get in. But we stay public." What could it hurt to hear him out? She was a writer, she should probably use some of this for future reference if she ever decided to write a story about someone with a mental illness. But a tiny bit of her refused to disbelieve him. She hated that. It was like having a mutiny in her head. She slid behind the wheel of her car and cranked the air conditioning on high in deference to the heat. She was serious about wanting a drink so she headed toward the bar, which at noon on a Saturday would be damn near graveyard-like. But at least she'd have people around in case Mark got too weird on her.


	3. Chapter 3

3-

CJ slid into one of the empty booths that lined the wall. There were only a few other people making use of the place as she had thought. The bar served food through the day – as long as a person didn't mind what she called bar food. She said hi to Sam, who was manning the bar, and watched as Mark sat down across from her. "Need a menu?" She asked.

Mark shook his head. "Not hungry."

CJ shrugged and smiled at the man who approached their table. Trevor wasn't a waiter necessarily – more like a jack-of-all-trades. He worked days at the bar doing whatever needed to be done. She chatted with him for a moment before ordering a soda and a sandwich and chips for herself. Mark declined even a drink.

They didn't talk until Trevor returned with CJ's lunch. She picked up a chip and munched it, looking at Mark curiously. "So talk. You wanted to go somewhere quiet."

"I said private."

"Close enough." Nobody was within listening distance. CJ picked up her drink and took a sip, noting that he was watching her carefully. It made her uncomfortable. "Start talking. I don't know how long I'm going to actually listen."

"Fine. I told you what I am." His eyes met hers.

"Yes. You told me what you think you are."

Mark did that half-smile thing again. "Jack Fields. You were…if I remember correctly…a junior in college. And he was the first one that actually…"

"Ok. That's enough of memory lane." CJ stopped him. It was freaky that this random stranger would know things about her, but stuff like that wasn't fit to be talked about to anyone. It was embarrassing.

"Other than telling you more about yourself that you already know, you'll just have to take my word for it." He said, watching as she took a bite of her sandwich.

"And you said you were going to stop a death. My death?"

"Yes. And I said I was going to _try_."

"Ok. Let's say I believe you – which I don't, but for argument's sake…why would you just _try_? Shouldn't you be able to prevent it?"

Mark sighed. "In theory."

"In theory." CJ echoed him.

"Do you know how fate works?"

She frowned at him. "I don't know. I guess. Some stuff is meant to be, right?"

"Basically. There are some things that have to happen in certain ways because it's your fate." He crossed his arms on top of the table. "And let's just say that I don't necessarily agree with that."

"And you expect me to believe that."

Mark nodded. "Yes."

"I don't get it. I mean…you aren't garden variety crazy. So why the fixation on this stuff?" CJ asked it rhetorically. "Let's start at the beginning here." She eyed him carefully. "Why do you look different? Last night your hair was shorter. And more red. And you didn't have as many tattoos."

Mark eyed his arms. "Time is different where I'm from."

"Seriously."

"Yes. Seriously. An hour here could be a year there. Or sometimes it's the other way around."

"And where are you from?"

"Texas."

CJ paused with a chip halfway to her mouth before she snorted a laugh. "Smooth. Ok. So in Texas apparently time speeds up and slows down at will."

"You asked where I was from. I told you where I was from." Mark shrugged. "If you mean where do I go, then the answer is sort of boring. We call it The Middle."

"The middle." CJ repeated.

"Yes. Not earth-bound. That's The Beginning. Not in heaven – or your idea of heaven – that's The End. The Middle."

"You're going to tell me that a place like heaven really exists?"

Mark shrugged again. "I don't know. I told you. I'm in The Middle. But we have to end up somewhere."

"And what do you mean by we?"

"We. As in other guardians."

"I thought you were a guardian _angel_." CJ emphasized it.

"I told you, I hadn't earned my wings yet."

"How exactly do you earn your wings?"

Mark made a face. "Does it matter?"

"It might." But CJ let it drop. For now. That was twice he'd dodged that particular line of questioning. "So what does a guardian angel…excuse me, a guardian, do?"

"We guide." He still looked uncomfortable. "We try to steer you toward the right decisions. Ultimately it's up to you. Free will. But…" He sighed and looked down at his tattooed arms. "Have you ever been driving and there were two roads you could take to get to where you're going?"

"Sure. Who hasn't?"

"And do you always take the shortest route?"

"Ye…" CJ stopped herself before answering. Then she shook her head. "Not all the time. Sometimes I like the scenic route. Are you going to tell me that when that happens it's you?"

"Nudging you in the right direction." Mark said with a nod. "Sometimes because you need to avoid the other way. Not always fatalistically, but…it all fits into the plan."

"The plan?"

"Your plan. The map of your life."

"This is getting pretty deep." CJ said with a smirk.

"It isn't total bullshit." He read her mind easily. "Ever walked into a room and forgotten what you went in to get?"

"Psh. All the time. Are you taking credit for that too?"

"Yes. It's a trick of time." Mark looked at her, his expression completely serious. "Sometimes you need to slow down to let events catch up. Or by slowing you down just enough, it enabled other events to pass by so they wouldn't touch you."

"Ok. So if you _nudged _me along, why would you let me make all the crappy relationship decisions?" CJ meant it as a joke. Mark took it seriously.

"Just because I point you in the right direction doesn't mean you listen. Free will." He pointed out. "Do you remember when you were seventeen? When you went joyriding with Jay McDaniel?"

CJ raised an eyebrow. Of course she remembered that. It had been a hell of a night. He had borrowed – or maybe a better way of putting it was stolen – his older brother's car. A bunch of them had gone riding out in the country at midnight, just tooling around in the summer heat with music blasting and teenage hormones raging. How many had there been in the car? She was pretty sure that there were eight of them crammed into the front and back seat of Jay's stolen car. CJ had been sitting on the lap of Ryan…something or other.

"Ryan Summers." Mark supplied, watching her closely.

"I wish you'd stop doing that." CJ grouched. But he was right. Ryan Summers had been, in her estimation, nothing short of a hunk. Football player, six-foot-four, muscular. And dumb as a bag of hair. But so adorably cute she hadn't minded too terribly when he'd slipped a hand under her shirt and copped a feel in the crowded car. She realized her thoughts were leading her astray when she noticed that Mark's face had gotten a bit red. She smiled. "That's what you get for snooping in my thoughts."

Mark cleared his throat. "Do you remember what you thought? Right before you got into the car?"

"Why would I...Wait…" CJ closed her eyes, trying to recall it. She remembered Jay being excited and everyone rushing out to pile in. And she'd hung back until Ryan had offered her what she presumed to be the best damned seat in the car. "I remembered thinking something like…only an idiot would get into a car full of kids and go speeding around the countryside at midnight. In a nutshell."

"And…"

"And. What happened was that Jay got distracted and ran off the road. Right into a ditch. There were a lot of bruises but nobody got seriously hurt. Except for Jay. His brother beat the unholy crap out of him a couple of weeks later." CJ looked at him curiously. "Are you trying to say that you were the one that put the thought about not going in my head?"

"I tried anyway. But you have free will, so you still get to choose. And sometimes you choose what I suggest."

"So what happened last night? Why is it I'm just now seeing you in the flesh?" CJ reached over and poked his arm. "Just making sure you're real."

"You're seeing me now because…" Mark paused, gathering his thoughts. "Because I couldn't stand by and watch and do nothing. I know the rules say that I have to but…" He trailed off with a troubled frown on his face.

"You aren't making any sense at all."

"I know." Mark met her eyes. "Something is fated to happen. And I don't want it to."

CJ looked back at him for a long moment. "Something is going to happen to me?"

"Yes."

"Something bad."

"Yes." Mark repeated. "Unless I can stop it."

"And if you can't stop it?"

He looked at her again, taking another of those long pauses. "Then you'll die." He finally said, putting it in simplest terms. 

CJ blew out a breath. "Well. I wouldn't want that."

"You still don't believe me."

"Would you believe you if you popped up talking all this crazy shit?"

"Probably not."

"Well then."

"The fact that I've aged since last night doesn't prove it?"

"You don't look older. Just different." CJ pointed out.

"And all the stuff I know about you?"

"Detective work. Dedicated detective work."

"The fact I can read your mind?"

"Lucky guesses."

"You have an answer for everything." Mark said, with grudging admiration in his voice.

"Mostly I have smartass comebacks. Answers are usually in short supply." CJ finished off her sandwich and took a drink of her soda. "I don't get it though. If you are what you say you are, then there has to be something you can do to prove it. Conclusively." She smiled although she looked far away when she did it. "And you never said why last night was when you showed up."

"Because it was time. I put it off. I shouldn't have." He looked sad for a moment. "And because if that jackass had gotten into your house then a lot worse would have happened than him punching a hole in the glass on your door."

"Oh yeah? Like what? He would have given me a contact buzz? You smelled him."

"No. Like he would have raped you."

He said it in such a matter-of-fact voice that it took CJ a full minute to truly process what he'd said. "Adam? No way."

"Yes."

"Why? Adam had no shortage of willing airheaded bimbos."

"Yes. But you were different. You told him no." Mark unfolded his arms and looked at his hands. "He got drunk because he was trying to get up the courage to go over to your house. And then he got mad because you told him no. Again. I didn't think he'd really do it until he broke the glass. And then…well. I just jumped in."

CJ looked at him with wide eyes. "But…what if I'd said yes?"

"You weren't going to."

"Another nudge from you?"

"Yes. Maybe a selfish one." He looked up and stared at her steadily. CJ wasn't going to touch that comment with a ten foot pole. She let the silence drag on and it was Mark who looked away. "At any rate…it scared some sense into him. He won't be bothering you again. Greener pastures elsewhere."

"Having his pretty face beat up probably helped that." CJ said thoughtfully. "Where were you when I hooked up with him, if you're supposed to be my voice of reason?"

Mark smirked. "I figured if I gave him enough time he'd find a way to fuck it up himself. You were never interested in taking things beyond an occasional night of sex, and he wasn't looking for an attachment. Eventually it would go away on its own. And it did. Although getting drunk probably put the idea in his head that you were just playing hard to get. Some men don't like being turned down."

CJ shrugged. She could have told him that. "So…if you showed up when I was sixteen, who was watching over me before that?" She figured she might as well play along.

"Your mother."

"And she just left?"

"No. Your grandmother passed. They crossed to The End together." Mark sighed and leaned back. "Your mother didn't want to leave you, and she didn't want to move on alone. But they don't like it when relatives are guardians. They can be…biased." He finished after a pause.

"So how did I end up with you?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure how that part of it works. And honestly it doesn't matter. What does matter is that I'm here to protect you."

"From dying."

"Yes. From Death."

CJ could almost see the capital letter when he said it. "Death as in the Grim Reaper, or just death in the true sense of the word?"

"There's no such thing as a Grim Reaper." Mark said. "But there is Death. They are like us guardians. Normally they have a specific job to do. But sometimes one of them plays at being evil. Instead of striking down an 85 year old man with a heart attack, they'll jump on board someone with certain urges and go out hunting. You ever wonder how serial killers choose their victims? It's because someone – a guardian, only darker – is telling them what to choose."

In an odd way, it made sense. CJ mulled it over and nodded at Trevor when he appeared with her check. She put it on her tab – she could always pay it when she got back into work.

"You still don't believe me." Mark said once they got back outside.

"Would you believe you?"

"Not hardly."

"Well then. You see my dilemma." CJ squinted against the bright sunlight. "I can't figure out your angle."

"My angle?"

"Yeah. What's in it for you? Let's say I believe you. What do you get out of helping me?"

Mark didn't answer for several minutes. He looked at her before turning his gaze to the parking lot in front of them. "I just want to change things."

"You want to change my fate." CJ said. "Sounds like a pick up line."

"It's not. But it's true."

"And fate is what's supposed to happen."

"Fate isn't changeable." Mark agreed.

"But you said you were going to change mine."

"I'm going to _try_." He was looking at her again.

"Why?" CJ had no clue why she kept on playing this game with him. But she did. Something about him drew her in.

"I can't answer that."

"You haven't answered quite a few things."

"You aren't ready to hear the answers." Mark pointed out. "But you will be soon enough."

CJ turned to look at him. And found she was alone on the sidewalk. She looked over both shoulders, and turned a slow circle. Unless Mark had gone back into the bar – and she would have heard the door – he had disappeared. "Neat trick." She muttered, pulling her keys out of her pocket. It seemed like as good a time as any to head home. Apparently her crazy quota had been reached for the day.


	4. Chapter 4

4-

Then again, maybe not. CJ was making supper later that evening when Mark showed up again. She was on her back porch grilling chicken breasts when he came through the back door like he owned the place.

At least he still looked the same. Or the same as he had earlier in the day.

"Still haven't learned how to knock." CJ pointed out, transferring her chicken from the grill to a plate she had waiting.

"I did knock. You didn't answer."

"So the solution is to go on in? The door was locked. On our planet, people assume that when someone doesn't answer they aren't home."

"But I knew you were home." He eyed her plate of chicken and held the door open for her to go into the kitchen.

"My car is right out front." CJ said, setting her plate down. Everything else was ready. "Are you planning to join me for dinner?"

Mark shook his head. "No."

"It's not poisoned." CJ started making her plate but paused to look at him. Mark was doing that half-smile thing again. That half-smile was dangerous. It was already starting to grow on her.

"I never said it was poisoned. I just don't need to eat."

"Uh huh. And where were you all day?"

"Looking into some things." Mark watched as she fixed her own plate then once more held the door open for her. CJ had a small table and chairs on the porch, which was where she had planned to eat. With the sun going down the house cast them into the shade and it wasn't nearly as hot on this side of the house as the other. Occasionally she would bring her laptop out here to write because it was peaceful – the back of the house looked out on rolling farmland. Of course most of the farming was done by other people. She only held on to the house and a final five acres because it was what her grandfather had trimmed it back to.

"How about a drink?"

"I don't need to do that either."

"Oh. Well. Good. I guess." CJ settled into her seat and picked up her fork. "I thought you'd given up on this whole thing." She said.

"Given up? What makes you think that?" He looked genuinely puzzled.

"You took off earlier."

"Oh. Yeah. That."

"Where did you go?"

"I told you. I was checking on some things."

"Anything I should know about?"

"Probably. But it'll keep." He finally turned his gaze to look out over the land behind the house, letting CJ eat without feeling like she was the entertainment. They sat in silence until she was almost finished.

"So why do you not need to eat or drink?" CJ asked when she couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Because that's fuel for the living." He was still gazing off into the distance.

"And you're not living?"

"I thought that was obvious, since I told you that I came from the place where you go after you're done here."

"Huh." CJ reached over and picked up his wrist, feeling his pulse beat against her fingertips. He looked down at her hand for a moment before looking up and meeting her eyes. "You still have a heartbeat."

"Doesn't mean anything. Not really." Mark's lips curled at the corners. "You wanted proof. I assume you mean real physical proof, and not just what you're trying to convince yourself is educated guessing."

"That would be nice." CJ said. She noted belatedly that she still held onto his wrist. She let go and grinned sheepishly.

"Mind if I borrow this?" He picked up a steak knife that CJ had been using to cut her chicken with. She shrugged and watched as he turned it slowly in his fingers. He glanced at her once before pressing the tip of the blade to his own chest.

"Wait…what are you…" She didn't get a chance to finish. He stabbed himself in the chest, presumably through the heart. CJ raised a hand to her mouth and watched, wide-eyed, as he made a face when the knife reached the hilt.

"Don't worry. I don't feel it." Mark said calmly.

"You don't feel _that_?"

"No."

"Well…do something before I get sick." CJ gestured weakly at him. Mark wrapped his hand around the knife's handle and pulled it out of his chest. He didn't even wince.

"You look a little pale." He observed. He unbuttoned his shirt – today he was wearing a button down with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of jeans. Once he had it freed he pulled the sides apart to show her his perfectly unmarked chest. He picked the knife up again and drew the tip along his skin, slicing into himself.

"Don't…" CJ couldn't help but watch. He didn't bleed. The cut closed as fast as it opened. "I don't understand how that's possible." She finally said.

Mark tossed the knife onto the table. He picked up her hand and laid her fingers against his neck so she could feel the strong pulse there. "It's possible because I am exactly what I said I am. I can't feel pain. I can't get hurt." He ran his fingertips along her arm. "I can feel this. Which is kind of funny considering when I'm in The Middle, I can't physically feel anything at all."

That was sad in a way. CJ lightly stroked his neck with her fingers, lost in thought, not seeing the way his eyes closed at the soft touch. Mark pulled her out of her thoughts when he caught her hand once more and lowered it to the table.

"So…you're connected to me somehow." She finally broke the silence that fell over them.

"As a guardian."

"Is that like…an all the time thing?" CJ could not believe she was actually considering believing this but the man had just stabbed himself through the heart to prove himself. She should at least keep an open mind.

"Sort of." The half-smile returned. "I consider some places to be off limits. Bathroom. Bedroom when you have company. Things like that."

"Good to know." CJ said. She could feel herself blushing. She hated that.

"Just telling you so that you understand that I have boundaries."

"Yeah. I get it. Thank goodness." She changed the subject. She had to. It was too embarrassing to think there may or may not have been some random ghost-like presence watching her take a shower or worse…screwing around with somebody. "So tell me again why it is you're here. Why can I see you and touch you? Wouldn't that be a boundary?"

The smile still curved Mark's lips but it faded. "It is actually. But one that I thought needed breaking."

"Won't you get in trouble?"

"Yes." He did not want to elaborate. CJ looked at him for a moment, waiting for him to go on but he seemed inclined to keep his mouth shut.

"Ok. If you want me to believe you then you have got to start telling what you know."

"I'm trying." Mark realized that his shirt was still hanging open, so he started doing the buttons. CJ watched the process, wondering why he would bother. The man had nothing to hide. He was built like the proverbial brick shithouse. "Guardians aren't supposed to directly touch who they're watching over because then they'd be tempted to force them to make certain decisions. It goes against the free will policy. It's confusing and hard to explain." He finished with his buttons and reached out to pick up the knife again. CJ ignored it. He wasn't going to stab himself again, she was pretty sure he just wanted to do something with his hands. "Also being able to physically touch and talk to the ones we watch over might lead to the wrong kind of connection."

"Wrong kind?" CJ didn't follow.

"Yeah. Guardians are supposed to care about who they watch. That's it. It's like…babysitting. You can care for the kids but at the end of the day you know they are going home and you don't get too attached."

"And a guardian can get too attached." CJ said, thinking out loud.

"Yes. It's rare but it happens. That's why they don't like family members doing it. The attachment is already there and it's hard to let it go." Mark finally looked up at her. "Your mother would have held on longer if your grandmother hadn't passed away. She was like…her voice of reason."

CJ nodded and smiled sadly. She remembered her grandmother fondly, remembered butting heads with her on more than one occasion. But her grandma had done it out of love. It had driven CJ crazy when she'd turned twelve and wasn't allowed to do things other girls her age were doing. And it drove her crazier when her grandmother had kept her cool when CJ had wished she would get mad and argue back. The beginning of teenage hormones. She was always so calm and sure of herself. No wonder her grandfather had been lost without her.

"Your grandmother knew she couldn't watch over you." Mark continued after a moment. "She understood that attachment issue. She asked me if I'd be willing. And I said yes."

"You didn't know me. Or them?"

"No."

"If you were there with them, and you spoke to them…that means you died too." Even though he had said so earlier, now CJ was starting to understand. Mark nodded slowly, watching her for a reaction. Apparently he thought she would freak out, or maybe accuse him of lying. Instead she reached over and laid her hand on top of his hand on the table, stilling his restless fingers on the handle of the knife. "What happened?"

Mark raised an eyebrow. "I don't really remember." He said with a shrug. "I don't really remember much about my life before I woke up in The Middle. I used to. I used to think about it a lot. But it faded. It faded more when I started watching over you." He sighed. "I was told that was supposed to happen. You have to let go of the past to move on. And since I was a guardian I would eventually have to let you go too."

"Like my mother did?"

"Not exactly." Mark looked at her, his green eyes troubled. "We aren't supposed to know your fate. Because it can't be changed. At least that's what they say. Every person has certain milestones that they have to reach. Including their death. All of it is predetermined."

"But you want to stop whatever is going to happen to me? Why?"

"Because it isn't right." He held her gaze for several long moments. "There's a reason that we aren't told fate events."

"And you found out mine?"

"I found out one of yours. The only one that really matters."

"My death." CJ said, squeezing his fingers. She hadn't realized she was still holding on to his hand.

"Yes." He dropped the knife and turned his hand over, catching her fingers in his. "You're going to meet someone. And that someone is going to be death for you."

"I've met you." CJ tried on a joking tone because he had gotten very serious on her. Mark didn't even crack that half-smile that was so damned appealing.

"Yes, and believe me I was never a part of your plan."

CJ frowned at the mix of emotion she heard in his words. She could spend all night trying to figure out exactly what he'd packed into that simple phrase. A little anger, some sadness, and about twelve other things she couldn't really define. "I didn't mean…"

"I know." Mark didn't let her talk. "I told you before. There are certain people who have dark guardians. They guide in the wrong direction. Actually a few people have two guardians – basically one good, one bad. In The Middle, they're both neutral. It's how they are perceived here in The Beginning that makes them good and bad. You have free will. You can choose to follow the advice of the good guardian, or the bad guardian. Enough following the bad and the good gets reassigned. The bad takes over."

"I get it. I think." CJ said softly. "So somebody with a bad guardian is going to kill me." She had put it together. Sort of.

"Yes. A very bad man will come into your life and kill you. And he's got Death as a guardian." Mark made a face. "Not like a Grim Reaper. That's make believe. You can have a bad guardian that just tells you to do things like steal or lie or cheat. The death guardians are…they're darker. They're the ones that make your serial killers. They have certain patterns. They make up a certain profile. They aren't really guardians like me – they were never people. They might appear as a person but it's…I can't describe it. Dark energy. Coldness. Hate. They serve a purpose, although no one will talk about them or explain _what _that purpose is."

"And I'm going to be a target for somebody who has a death guardian." CJ said.

"Yes. You aren't yet. You haven't met him yet."

"Do you know when I will? Or who he is?"

"No. Because I'm not supposed to see that. That's part of it. I've only seen bits and pieces, enough to know that your time is short. But not exactly when or who it will be. Which is why I had to show myself." He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table, still holding on to her hand. "I was always kind of a loner anyway, and I don't socialize much with other guardians. But they still keep tabs. The ones who watch over us. If they knew I was here…"

CJ tightened her fingers on his. "How do they not know?"

"Because we don't require much watching. Most guardians do the job they are assigned and move on. We call it 'earning our wings' and it happens when we've succeeded in leading someone from The Beginning to the natural end of their life. But your life isn't going to have a natural end. Not unless I do something about it."

"What if they found out?"

Mark gave her a look of such seriousness that CJ felt like crying for a moment. "Then I wouldn't be here. You'd be without a guardian until fate happened. And you wouldn't have a chance against it."

"But what would happen to you?"

"Doesn't matter."

"It _does_ matter. I don't want you to be in trouble because of me."

"The bigger picture." Mark said as if that were an explanation. "I don't care about getting in trouble. I care about keeping you alive."

"But what if they find out between now and then?"

"That's why I have to try to figure this out pretty fast."

"But if I don't die when fate says I will won't they know? Won't you be punished or reassigned or dealt with?"

"Yes. But that doesn't matter. Your living _does_ matter."

"Why? Why do I matter so much?"

"Because…" Mark sighed heavily. "I can read you a little bit, ok? Your thoughts at least, the ones on top. And to do my job, as your guardian, I sometimes have…intuition…"

"Precognition?"

He made a face. "Sort of. I get flashes…I see things, sometimes, so that I know when I need to try to exert an influence. And the deal is that no guardian has ever had an intuition about a fate event. They happen the way they are supposed to happen, when they are supposed to happen. So there's no sense in us seeing it coming."

"Then maybe dying isn't my fate, if you saw it."

"But it is. Because I wasn't supposed to see it." Mark took a deep breath. "I wouldn't have seen it. But things sort of…changed."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I…I started to…" He stumbled over his words for the first time. Before he could figure out how to finish, the phone started ringing from inside the house.

CJ frowned in the direction of the back door but it was enough to break them out of the mood. Mark withdrew from her, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest, pointedly looking back out over the fields. "I guess I should get that."

"Yeah."

CJ hesitated before pushing away from the table and going inside. She didn't give a damn about the phone but it seemed to have caused Mark to throw up some defenses. Just when things were starting to get interesting too. She shook her head and answered on the next ring. "Hello?"

It was Jackie. "Feel like working tonight?"

"Hell no."

"Bummer. Just wanted to remind you that I will be over there in the morning at about four."

"Ok. Why?" CJ idly picked up a pen and slid her message pad around so she could doodle while she talked.

"My landlord cleaned my carpets. Wet floors. I told you this stuff yesterday."

"Oh yeah. I forgot." CJ laughed and turned so she could look out the window. Mark was still sitting at the table. She could study him from the relative safety of the kitchen.

"I knew you would. So is it all right?"

"Yeah. It's not like I had major plans."

"Trevor tells me you had a lunch date today."

"Trevor is an evil troll that lies." CJ said without missing a beat.

"Oh come on. Details!"

"Tomorrow. You'll probably get to meet him. You have your key?"

"Yes I do."

"Good. Because I plan to be passed out way before you roll in. See you in the morning." They said their goodbyes and CJ hung up, smiling without really feeling it. Because Jackie had horrible timing, and she had an idea that whatever big revelation Mark had been about to make would probably require a real effort to drag it out of him again. He was protecting something, maybe himself, maybe her. She didn't know. And she wasn't sure she wanted to find out.


	5. Chapter 5

5-

CJ brushed her teeth and spent a few minutes braiding her dark hair. It was getting too long and tended to get tangled when she slept.

After her supper, Mark had gotten quiet on her. But that was all right since she was fairly positive that any more information would make her brain explode. They'd sat outside for a while, until full dark. Heat lightning flickered in the distance but CJ figured it was just for show. There had been no rain forecast for at least a few days.

She walked into her bedroom and nearly tripped on her own feet. Mark was standing in her room, looking at some framed pictures on her dresser. They were older pictures; a few of herself as a baby, toddler, and child, several of her mother, and her grandparent's wedding photo.

"I thought you said this room was one you didn't go into." CJ pointed out as she picked up her robe from the foot of her bed and tossed it onto a chair in the corner.

"When you have company. You don't have company tonight, do you?"

"Not until Jackie gets here at four. Speaking of which…how in the world am I going to explain you?" CJ went to her bed and sat down, idly toying with the end of her braid.

"You'll think of something."

"The truth?" CJ smirked. "She might believe it. She's always been into this kind of thing. Supernatural stuff. Ghosts and UFOs and past lives."

"It might be better she doesn't know what I am. Because if she knows, then her guardian might sniff me out and…that would not be good." He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked at her for a moment.

"Ok. But she'll figure something is weird." CJ finally finished her braid. "I'd offer you the guest room but that's where she's going to sleep."

Mark was shaking his head. "I don't need to sleep."

"I should have figured." CJ said with a yawn. "But I do. So...good night I guess."

"Good night." Mark did that half-smile thing. But he made no move to leave.

"Do you have nothing else you can do while I'm sleeping?" CJ asked.

"Not really." Mark watched as she slid under her blanket. "Usually I just stand around staring at you."

CJ snorted a laugh. "Good to know." She settled herself on her pillow. "Can you turn off the light at least?"

"Sure." Mark flipped a switch, dropping the room into darkness. He moved over to the bed and sat down on the empty half. CJ would have protested but figured she'd save her breath.

"So you don't remember anything about being alive?"

"No." Sadness touched his voice. "Well. Not really."

"That's two different answers to the same questions. Which one is it?" CJ rolled over so she faced his direction. Enough moonlight came in through the window that she could see him fairly well. He was sitting, turned slightly so one leg was up on the bed.

"I don't really _remember_ anything. But every now and then I get an image. One that feels like it doesn't belong in my head." He sighed. "I know that sounds crazy, but I guess a lot of what I've said today sounds crazy."

"What image is it?" CJ asked softly.

"A little boy." Mark finally replied after thinking it over. "He can't be older than three or four. He's talking but I can't hear him. That part isn't as _there_ as he is. At first I thought I was imagining myself as a kid. Then I realized that I was seeing _my_ kid. Because sometimes we can't forget every part of our past. At least that's what other guardians have said."

"That's so sad." CJ whispered. She tried to picture Mark with a kid and couldn't do it. "What's your last name?"

"I don't remember." He admitted. "It isn't important in The Middle."

"Too bad. I could try to look you up. To see what happened."

"Don't. I don't know if that would be a good idea."

"You aren't ready to hear what happened to you." CJ translated.

"Yeah."

"But you might have a kid…" She let it hang there.

"I know. I also know that kid would probably be at least a teenager by now. Maybe older. Time is…weird…in The Middle. Five minutes pass here and it's a month there. Or a month here is five minutes there. It depends on what you're doing. It's possible I don't have a kid at all, that it's just a flash of someone else's thoughts. Sometimes it happens, wires get crossed. But I've seen it too often for that to make any real sense."

"Maybe it's a vision of your future." CJ muttered. Her eyes were getting heavy.

"I don't think that's possible. Because we can't see our own." Mark let his voice get lower. "Guardians don't really have a future. We do our job then we move on to The End."

"What is The End?"

"Nobody knows. Some people think it's exactly what it says. You wink out of existence because your work is finished. Other people think it's an actual place where you get to be with the ones you lost along the way. And there are a few who believe that The End is really The Beginning, and the cycle just starts all over again."

"Hmm." CJ couldn't keep her eyes open. She felt him shift and that was it. She was asleep.

CJ slept deeply, at least until four in the morning when she heard Jackie make her entrance. She was trying to be quiet but CJ knew all of the house's noises. Jackie was humming under her breath as she went into the second bedroom and shut the door behind her. She snuggled into her pillow, blinking sleepily, already dozing again when she realized that Mark was still sitting on her bed. He had moved so his back was against the wall.

"I fell asleep." She muttered softly.

"That's all right. Go back to sleep. It's early." He reached over and brushed some loose hair back from her forehead. CJ nodded and closed her eyes. It was sort of comforting, having him there. Even if he was just sitting and watching her. That thought normally would have bothered her. But oddly enough she felt safe. She slipped back to sleep before she could really contemplate what that meant.

CJ woke up again at the saner hour of nine. She stretched and kicked her blanket off, noting that Mark was no longer in the room with her. She got up and went to the bathroom, mindful that Jackie was sleeping right across the hall.

She headed downstairs intending on fixing some breakfast. Mark was not there either. She figured maybe he had decided to leave – the same way he'd left the day before. Into thin air. It wasn't until she looked out her living room window that she spotted him.

The front porch was actually covered, and there was a porch swing in the corner. Mark was sitting there, slowly rocking it with his foot, looking out across the front yard. CJ watched him for a moment, debated, then went to the front door and stepped out.

"The view from the back yard is better." She pointed out, keeping her voice low. She didn't know why. Jackie could sleep through a hurricane while a train went past.

"I know. But I kinda like it right here." Mark matched her tone. "I have to go for a bit."

"Go? Go where?"

"Back to The Middle." He sighed and shut his eyes. "My powers are kind of weak when I'm here at The Beginning. I need to go and make sure there isn't anything coming that I need to deal with."

"Oh. Won't they see you coming and going?"

Mark shook his head. "We pretty much do that as we please. As long as we're not slacking at the job." His eyes were still closed. "I still need to try to get a fix on your fate too. Because it's close but I can't get it _exactly_. Now that I've been here and I've talked to you, maybe it'll help. Because…" He trailed off and opened his eyes. "Well. Maybe it will help." He did not finish his thought. CJ almost questioned him on it but changed her mind. He looked distracted. "Besides, your friend might think it's weird that I'm here, right?"

"Probably. But she'd get over it."

Mark rose to his feet. "I have to go. I'll be back. Hopefully today. But like I said…time is weird there. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Ok." CJ smiled in confusion as he looked at her finally. He nodded and then…faded. If she hadn't seen it with her own eyes she wouldn't have believed it. One minute he was standing there, as real and solid as she was, the next she could actually see the swing through him. And then he was gone. CJ tentatively reached out to where he had been and touched absolutely nothing. Not even a slight cold spot. "Freaky." She muttered to herself. Amid all the other crazy shit it was one more thing to mess with her head.

She went into the house smiling a little. The fade out sort of made his trick with the knife the evening before seem a little over the top. CJ fixed breakfast, purposely being loud so that Jackie eventually came wandering down the stairs.

"It's too early!" Jackie moaned as she entered the kitchen.

"It's not too early. You were just up too late." CJ put a cup of coffee in front of her friend. "Off tonight?"

"Yup. Good thing too. Sundays are so boring." Jackie took a sip of the hot coffee and moaned happily. "Caffeine, work your magic."

CJ smiled and fixed a plate for herself. She was starving. She and Jackie ate breakfast and talked work – mostly about their customers that were regulars. It was better than a soap opera most of the time.

Eventually Jackie woke up enough to question CJ about her lunch the day before. "So what gives? Find yourself a mystery man?"

"Kinda sorta." CJ hedged, finishing off her juice.

"Oh come on now. What's his name? Is he one of our bar regs?"

"His name is Mark, and no. He's new around here." CJ shrugged. "And it was just lunch. For me. He didn't even eat. He was just keeping me company."

"Right." Jackie grinned. "Moving on from Adam."

"Ugh. Don't remind me." CJ recapped the excitement of having a drunk Adam waiting on her porch, edited to remove Mark's involvement of course.

"You had him arrested!" Jackie cracked up laughing.

"I'm sure he's out by now. And I haven't heard a peep so that's a good thing."

"It's hilarious." Jackie poured herself a second cup of coffee. "He's pretty to look at but I never knew what you saw in him. He had no substance."

"Says the queen of one night stands!"

"I'm not looking for substance." Jackie pointed out. "Just a good time."

"Blah, blah, blah…" CJ took her plate and glass to the sink and washed them on Jackie's laugh. "Why is it that you're looking for fun while the rest of us are supposedly needing substance? I never thought Adam would be husband material. He was just a warm body."

"Well thank goodness you feel that way because he was something of a slut."

"Yes. I know."

"As long as you're aware." Jackie glanced at her watch. "Hopefully my floors are dry. I have about a million things to do today at home." She grinned. "And I work tomorrow. You going to come in and have a drink with me?"

"Sure."

"No argument?" Jackie looked shocked. Normally she had to beg and plead to get CJ out of the house.

"Have I ever won an argument with you?"

"Nope. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy the exercise though!" Jackie laughed and stood up. "I'm going to borrow your shower and get dressed, then get out of your hair."

"Don't rush on my account. I've got nothing doing."

"What, no writing? Usually you're elbow deep on that computer of yours."

"I know. Weird right?" CJ knew she _should_ be writing. She liked to write a little every day. But she just didn't feel like it. She had too much to think about.

She tried anyway because it passed the time. She couldn't concentrate for shit though. Instead of working on the story she'd begun a few weeks before, she toyed with the outline and jotted down notes. Light work while she mulled over the things that Mark had told her the day before. She couldn't help but wonder where he'd gone off to. He had to look into things – but how did he look into things?

It made for a rough afternoon of writing. She finally gave up and went to the kitchen. She wasn't hungry so she grabbed a soda and took a drink. And almost spit it out when Mark spoke from behind her.

"Took longer than I thought."

CJ jumped and turned. And Mark had changed yet again. The auburn hair was back. He had it braided back from his face, which sported a similarly auburn goatee. He also had a bandana over his forehead. Tight jeans, a tight t-shirt, and black leather boots finished it off. And she might have been mistaken but it seemed he had even more tattoos. His arms were completely covered to the sleeves of his shirt.

She regained herself pretty quick. There was nothing wrong with her equilibrium. "Once again…have you ever made acquaintance with knocking before just wandering in to a person's house?"

"Not if I can help it."

"Huh." CJ spotted an earring in his ear. A gold hoop. "Ok. Pirate or biker?"

Mark smirked at her. "Why can't I be both?"

"You changed again." She pointed out the obvious.

"I told you. Time's different."

"Mmm hmm." This time he had aged a bit. But it sat well on him. He'd gone from being brooding to being someone that Jackie would probably tackle in the parking lot. The biker type was right up her one-night-stand alley. "Did you find out whatever you needed to find out?"

"Not really." Mark took a seat at the center island and watched her. CJ had no idea why. She was just standing there taking up space. "Don't sell yourself short."

"Huh?"

"You are not just taking up space."

"Ugh. Stop that. Or I'll picture embarrassing stuff."

"Go ahead. I've probably already seen it all."

CJ smiled sweetly and looked him over. She had seen him the evening before with his shirt open, showing off a wide muscular chest. Also – he had some strong looking arms under all those tattoos. Too bad he was sitting down because she had always been a sucker for a guy who looked good in jeans. She looked up and saw he was blushing.

"That was almost too easy." She said. "I never even got to the good stuff."

"I got the point." Mark said, doing that half-smile again. "For the record, you aren't going out tonight."

"I wasn't planning to." CJ said with a raised eyebrow. The words were no sooner out of her mouth when her phone started ringing. She picked up and listened to Jackie's excited pitch for a girl's night. Which in Jackie-speak meant she wanted to get laid and needed a 'wingman' so to speak. "I can't tonight."

"Why not?"

"I have…company."

"Ooh." Jackie dragged it out. "I see how it is. Company with a penis attached to it?"

CJ grinned and looked at Mark. "I hadn't gotten that far yet." His blush deepened. "But yes. I assume he does in fact have one."

"Well don't let me get in your way. I'll see you tomorrow night though."

"Yup. I'll be there." CJ hung up. "Happy?"

"Marginally."

"Why am I not allowed to go out tonight?"

"Better you don't know." Mark said.

"Oh. Jackie isn't in trouble or something is she?"

"No. Not as far as I'm aware."

"Then what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that it would be better if you didn't go out tonight."

"You blushed again, by the way." CJ said, eying him.

"Is that your way of trying to teach me to stay out of your head? Because it would be kind of hard. I've been in there for a long time." Mark looked at her steadily.

"No. But you're awfully cute when you get all flustered." Mark rolled his eyes at that. CJ smiled and finished her soda. "And I can't go out tonight because…"

Mark shook his head. "Stubborn."

"I can be." But she let it drop. Obviously he did not want to share. "You don't need to eat and I'm not hungry. And you don't want to talk about whatever it is you did all day. So…"

Mark sighed. "Let's go sit outside. I'll try to tell you what I can." CJ grinned and followed him out the back door. That had been easy. He looked tough but he was turning out to be sort of a pushover. Also he had a nice rear end; now that he was standing in front of her she could admire it. "I heard that." Mark muttered, making her laugh. Good. She'd keep him on his toes that way.


	6. Chapter 6

6-

CJ was tucked in bed. Mark was once more sitting on the other side. He had been quiet all evening, and she hadn't been able to draw him out. She was tired but not sleepy.

"So how come I couldn't go out tonight?" She finally asked, smiling at the noise he made.

"Too late to worry about it now." He finally said.

"Issue dodger. You didn't tell me what you found out either."

"Because there's not much to tell. Other than the usual jumble of stuff, which I'm pretty sure your interior voice can deal with, we're good for at least a few days."

"My interior voice?" CJ asked.

"Yeah. Some people mistakenly call it the voice of reason. It's actually the selfish voice that convinces you to do something. Usually the exact opposite of what I try to get you to do."

CJ smiled at that. "Sounds like trouble. And you trust it to not get me run over by a bus or something?"

"Your interior voice is all about self-preservation." Mark half-smiled. "And sometimes questionable life choices."

"Great. I have that to look forward to then." She rolled onto her side and looked up at him, taking in his profile. The moon was bright enough that she could actually see pretty well. "So…"

"It just wouldn't have been a good night for you to go out."

"The stars were aligned against me?" She said, half joking.

"Something like that."

"You're just a ball full of fun tonight." CJ griped. "I can't sleep."

Mark started to speak but stopped himself. He cleared his throat. "I'm just thinking about things."

"Well knock it off for a little while. Nothing you can do about anything right now. It's not like I'm going to run into some mysterious stranger while I'm in bed. Present company excluded."

"I'm the exception to the rule." He hesitated. "You would have met someone tonight."

"Oh really?" CJ smiled. "On a Sunday night, at one of Jackie's hangouts. I can only imagine what sort of winner I would have found."

"Well. Winner or not, he would have talked you into bed."

"And you cockblocked it. Nice."

"It's a distraction we don't need."

"Speak for yourself." CJ was still smiling. "How drunk would I have been to go home with one of Jackie's type?"

"Pretty drunk." Mark said. And he was half-smiling again. CJ would have bet money on it. "Lots of buyer's remorse in the morning." He paused. "He would have called you though. I guess that's a consolation."

"I don't know which part is scarier." CJ said. "Why was that so difficult to tell me about? You can read my mind. You should know I wouldn't get too mad."

"I know." Mark ran his fingers through his hair, which he had taken out of the braid. "Maybe my reasons were purely selfish."

"Oh yeah?"

"Maybe." He repeated.

CJ frowned at that. She had no idea what he meant. "So you didn't find out anything other than I'm good for a couple of days."

"Right."

"Then meeting me in person didn't help you refine your vision or whatever you want to call it?"

"No. But I can't go prodding too hard. I don't want to draw attention to myself." He sighed. "But I'm going to go back and try again. After you're sleeping."

"I'm not sleepy." CJ pointed out, feeling sort of disappointed that he would be leaving her again. As crazy as all this was, she rather enjoyed the easy banter she had with Mark. She couldn't remember ever having someone in her life who accepted her and could keep up with her. And she even liked the back and forth smart comments. He was smart. She didn't feel like she had to dumb herself down to be understood.

"You will be." He said, shifting a little. He was looking down at her now. "Eventually anyway."

"You can go now if you have to." CJ said.

"That's ok. I'm not in a hurry."

"Fine." CJ smiled inwardly. "What else can we talk about then?"

"I have no idea."

"You can't remember your past at all."

"No." Mark sighed. "I used to though. I remember remembering. If that makes sense."

"Sure." CJ adjusted her blanket. "I'm trying to imagine what you would have been before."

"Well I can't help you there."

"You could play along." She said. "Cowboy?" Mark snorted at that. "Yeah. That one was pretty out there. Teacher? Oh…or maybe a truck driver."

"That's the best you can come up with?"

"What's wrong with being a teacher?"

"Aren't you a writer?" Mark asked.

"You expect me to be creative?" CJ grinned. "Let me see your hands." Mark hesitated but held one of them out. CJ took it in hers and ran her fingers over his palm. "You worked with your hands. Which tells me exactly nothing. Mechanic. Hmm. Or maybe a carpenter, or um…what is it when you boss around construction workers?"

"Contractor."

"Yeah. That." CJ grinned. "You strike me as the outdoors type. Maybe you were one of those guys that did the hunting and fishing weekends for rich people to go pretend they were in the wilderness."

Mark snorted again. "I think it's a safe bet that I didn't do anything like that."

"Maybe you were career military. You know. Special forces." CJ actually warmed to that idea. "I could picture you in uniform."

"That would be preferable to being a cowboy." Mark sounded amused. "Go to sleep, CJ."

"Bossy."

"Sometimes I have to be."

"I promised Jackie that I'd go to the bar and hang out with her for a while on her shift." CJ said, blinking sleepily. It had come on her pretty fast.

"That's fine."

"Oh really?"

"Yup."

"You going to come with me?"

He paused for such a long time that CJ wondered if she'd asked it out loud or had imagined it. "Do you want me to?" He finally said, keeping his voice low.

"Sure. Why not?" CJ was surprised he had to ask. Of course he had pretty much made a habit out of popping in whenever and wherever he pleased so asking hadn't seemed all that farfetched.

"I suppose I will." He said. He sounded unsure though.

"Don't get all excited. You might give me a complex."

"I think you'll survive it." Mark said, his voice sarcastic.

She smiled and closed her eyes. She didn't notice that she still had his hand between both of hers. She ended up falling asleep that way. And she didn't notice when he slipped away and faded from the room without a sound an hour later.

CJ woke up late the next morning. Late for her anyway. She made herself some toast and coffee and went outside to enjoy the morning air while it was still a doable temperature. Mark wasn't anywhere around. Funny thing was she was already getting used to him just coming and going. She was nothing if not adaptable.

She actually got some work done, at least until her stomach reminded her she hadn't eaten much the day before and a slice of toast was hardly brain fuel. She put together a salad and cut up her leftover grilled chicken for the top.

It wasn't until she was getting ready for her night out with Jackie that Mark reappeared. CJ was brushing her hair when she saw him step into her bedroom door.

And Mark once more looked different.

CJ turned to look at him. The long auburn hair was gone. For the first time he was sporting very short black hair. The goatee was also black. As a matter of fact, he was dressed completely in black.

"Is it a theme night and nobody told me?" She asked, eying his black shirt – another button down with the sleeves rolled to his forearms, and his black jeans.

Mark raised an eyebrow and looked down at himself. "Am I that different?"

"Uh…yeah." CJ looked at his hair – or lack thereof – once more. "That'll take some getting used to."

Mark ran his hand over his head and made a face. "It's just hair."

"So what…did you go away so you could visit a beauty shop or something?" CJ sat on the end of her bed and tugged on her boots. In deference to the heat, she was wearing a red strapless top that hugged her body and supported her in all the right places, plus her snuggest pair of jeans. The boots had a slight heel. Jackie would wholeheartedly approve of the outfit.

Apparently Mark approved too. He was looking her over as she stood up and smoothed her top down over her stomach. "No. I don't do this to myself. It just happens sometimes."

"Oh. So randomly you pop up sporting various haircuts, colors, and styles?"

"I guess." Mark shrugged. "Someone I used to know, another guardian, said she thought we could cycle through everybody we were in our past lives. She believed The End was really The Beginning and we just keep going through it in loops."

CJ smiled. "She?"

"Her name was Lela. She moved on to The End a while back." Mark said with a half-smile. "Couldn't say when exactly. Time…"

"Is screwy there. Yes, I know. You told me." CJ looked at him for a moment. "So are you allowed to have relationships there? Not just bumping into somebody randomly or whatever, but an actual relationship type thing?"

"Sure. Kind of." Mark shrugged again. "Not physical relationships. I told you, physically you don't feel anything when you're in The Middle. But you can get mentally or emotionally attached to another guardian. It's not against the rules but they don't really advertise it. You never know when they are going to move on." He self-consciously ran a hand over his head, feeling the short hair for himself once more.

"So what you're saying is that basically they've made it so you don't want to bother."

"Pretty much."

CJ nodded and went to her dresser, opening her jewelry box. She didn't have much because she wasn't a jewelry person but her grandfather had given her a necklace when she graduated high school and it would look good with her top. She was trying to get it hooked when she felt Mark gently push her hands aside and did it himself. CJ held her hair out the way so he could see.

He got the small latch closed then smoothed the gold chain against her neck. His eyes met hers in the mirror over her dresser for a moment and CJ felt her breath catch in her throat. She wished she could read him as easily as he could read her because there was a lot going on in that one look.

She cleared her throat and let her hair drop. "Thanks."

"Yup. You ready?"

"Of course. " CJ smiled and grabbed the small purse she had packed to take. "You sure it's safe to venture forth?"

Mark nodded. "Absolutely."

"Good. Jackie would get mad if I flaked on her." She led the way down the stairs and onto the front porch, pausing long enough to lock the door. She was going to have a couple of drinks, maybe have a couple of dances, and then back home before Jackie could talk her into doing more.

CJ started off the night having a good time. It was hard to tell if Mark felt the same – he had a good game face. Mostly he seemed amused.

Jackie kept them company for a while, bringing CJ a beer, cracking jokes about Mark not drinking. But she mostly left the two of them alone, thinking that CJ had brought him as a date. She didn't bother to correct her friend. She actually found it pretty funny.

Even funnier was that Jackie could not crack Mark. He was friendly with her, although CJ could tell he was holding himself back. He didn't want another guardian to catch him out. He was personable without overdoing it, which made Jackie give CJ a secret thumbs up when Mark wasn't looking.

The bar was a different place on Monday night. There was still a decent sized crowd but it was mostly established couples and regulars. The music was at a decent volume – not deafening, just loud enough to dance to if a patron wanted to. And the music was different as well.

"I sort of get why you like this place." Mark said, leaning across the table so she could hear him.

"Oh?"

"When it's not packed with horny twenty-four year olds, it's actually kind of nice."

CJ smiled. "If I had come in here on a Friday night before I accepted the job, I probably would have kept on looking."

Mark smirked and leaned back. And CJ caught him once more stealing a long look at her, his eyes moving from her face to her bare shoulders to, in her opinion, the modest amount of cleavage the shirt flashed. She could have worn something lower cut but why flaunt it? It was a Monday after all.

What was really strange was how much she _didn't _mind it; that feeling he was undressing her with his eyes. Usually it bothered her when guys did that. If they couldn't meet her eyes when they spoke, CJ ended the conversation. Not that Mark had done that a lot. Just while they'd sat in the booth talking and keeping Jackie company.

CJ also realized something else as they sat there. Mark's ability to read her was apparently not functioning correctly. She was actually trying to get him to pick up on her thoughts but he seemed unconcerned. As if there was interference. And there might very well be – what did she know about mind-reading other than it made for good movie fodder?

Jackie had left CJ a shot and a second beer before wandering away to deal with another customer. CJ leaned over the table. "Can you not hear me?"

"Were you talking?" Mark asked, eyebrow raised.

"No. I was thinking."

"Oh. Sure." Mark did his patented half-smile. "But I decided not to keep pointing it out. Because it seemed to make you uncomfortable."

CJ laughed at that. "It seems like an unfair advantage." She finally took the shot and chased it with a sip of cold beer. "You sure you don't want anything?" She gestured with her beer mug.

"I don't drink."

"I know you don't need to. But don't you _want _to?"

Mark shrugged. "Not really. Like a lot of things in The Beginning, I'm over it."

CJ laughed. She had to. He had been completely serious but also joking. She was actually starting to really enjoy his dry sense of humor. She noted it was mostly aimed at himself. As if he knew his position was ridiculous and didn't care.

She finished her beer and caught Mark once more eying her closely. Maybe that was why he couldn't hear her thoughts. He was too distracted trying to look down her shirt. The thought did not even cause a frown – he really must have been distracted. CJ smiled to herself and pushed her mug away trying to decide if she should have one more before calling it a night.


	7. Chapter 7

7-

CJ would hardly call herself drunk. A couple of drinks did not equal inebriated. It was just enough to make her feel warm and tingly. And she wanted to dance. Jackie saw her swaying and grinned at her.

"We'll be back!" CJ said it loud enough that Mark could hear over the music. Not the hard rock, guitar driven Friday or Saturday music. Instead it was an old Duran Duran song that CJ hadn't heard in ages. The reason she tolerated her shifts at work was mainly because she liked the music.

She and Jackie sang along and danced together, for lack of another partner. It was definitely early week. No one else was really making use of the dance floor.

"How drunk are you?" Jackie asked, wrapping her arms over CJ's shoulders.

"Not drunk enough for girl-on-girl." CJ joked. Usually it was Jackie on the drunk end of things. "I'm not drunk. I've only had a couple. I'm _relaxed_."

"Good. Because we're going to drag other people out onto the floor. I can't have all these moping customers bringing down my tip average." Jackie grinned and sashayed toward the booths. CJ went toward the bar. She knew the routine. On slow nights, especially nights when she worked with Jackie, they could sometimes coax the men or random couples onto the dance floor. More dancing meant more drinking, more drinking meant more tips. The first guy was with what CJ assumed to be his girlfriend. She didn't ask, merely grabbed them by the hands and pulled them onto the dance floor. They were game. Actually they were laughing when CJ moved them together and put his hands on her waist, and hers on his shoulders. She tipped them a wink and went to find her second victim. By the time the song was reaching the end, they had quite a few couples on the floor, along with some brave singles who didn't mind swaying alone. CJ found herself dancing with a guy she knew – sort of. She knew him by sight if not by name. He was in the bar usually a night or two out of the week, sometimes with his girlfriend, sometimes with his brothers. And he was a surprisingly good dancer. At least he didn't get too hands-y with her, which sometimes was a problem.

The song ended and CJ grinned when the next song started. Ozzy. But not one of his harder rock songs. It was 'Close My Eyes Forever' – which was technically a Lita Ford song – but that was splitting hairs. She tipped the guy she had been dancing with a wink and moved over to the booths. The crowd was mellow, so the music would stay mellow. She went to the booth where Mark sat watching people with mild curiosity on his features.

"Come on." She held out her hand.

"Where we goin'?"

"We're going to dance!" CJ grabbed his hand and tugged, and he reluctantly slid out of the relative safety of the booth. She practically dragged him across the dance floor to an empty corner and stepped up closer to him, reaching up to wrap her arms around his shoulders. He looked mildly uncomfortable but put his hands on her hips and swayed with her in time to the music.

"I do not dance." He said, bending so his mouth was close to her ear. CJ smiled and shrugged.

"You do now." This close to him, with her cheek against his, she could smell the soft musk of his cologne, or aftershave. It smelled good. Actually, he smelled damn near edible. CJ was a sucker for good cologne. The short hair…she ran her fingers up his neck and across the back of his head. He seemed surprised by it. She could feel it in the way he held himself. "I still can't get over the haircut."

"Change is good. Sometimes." He pulled back a little and CJ loosened her grip, letting her hands rest once more on his shoulders and her head on his chest. She started singing along to the music and felt his chest move against her cheek when he chuckled. It was always funny, how she could go months and sometimes years without hearing a song but when it came on she knew all the lyrics.

"This used to be the best song to make out to." CJ said with an impish grin. She didn't have to say it into his ear. He could hear her. Again she felt him chuckle and finally looked up at him. He was watching her, expression completely unreadable. So CJ did what the alcohol, the music, and her own interior voice – the one that Mark said usually went against what he tried to steer her toward – said to do. She pulled him down and pressed her mouth against his.

She felt his hands tighten around her waist, and he stiffened up in surprise. But he didn't pull back. He gave in. She felt him do it, felt all the tension go out of his body as his mouth slid against hers and his lips parted. She felt the tip of his tongue brush her lower lip and met it with her own. She'd had no idea that a guy could taste as good as he smelled. She'd never paid much attention to that before. But as his tongue invaded her mouth, as he deepened the kiss, it was all she could think about. And she wanted more.

Mark pulled back just as the song came to an end, leaving CJ breathless. His eyes looked darker, and he was breathing heavier as well, but there was a look of deep regret on his face that made her suddenly feel like crying for no good reason.

"Can't do this." He said softly. He raised a hand and cupped her cheek, letting his thumb slid over her skin. The song had changed, something by Journey was playing but CJ no longer really heard it.

"We haven't done anything _yet_." CJ pointed out.

"I know. I want to." He took in a shaky breath, let it out. "You have no idea how much I want to. But I can't." Mark reached up and took her hands off his shoulders, and squeezed them before letting her go and walking away. Instead of going back to the booth he went out the front door. CJ stood there stunned for almost an entire minute before she noticed the guy – the one whose name she couldn't remember – was asking her to dance again.

She did although not with the enthusiasm she'd had for it earlier. Truth be told, her feelings were a little hurt. Mark had been just as into it as she had been, for a minute anyway. Actually she guessed it was a good thing he'd pulled back. Because what did she really know about him? Other than he was probably the most attractive, interesting man she'd ever known, crazy or not.

After the song she excused herself to the restroom where she splashed cold water on her face and spent five minutes peering into the mirror. Her happy buzz was gone anyway. She was going to eat some fries, drink some coffee, and head home. No more dancing. No more drinking either.

Mark had pulled another disappearing act. Jackie brought CJ her food and said she had poked around looking for him but he was gone. She was too busy to sit and find out what had happened; apparently she hadn't seen them kissing, which CJ counted as a blessing.

She made herself hang out for an hour, eating greasy bar food and drinking soda instead of coffee or more alcohol. She felt sober enough to drive, and for once there was no argumentative voice in her head telling her to sit down or call a cab. She gave Jackie a hug goodbye and went out into the hot night air. It was just past eleven and it should have cooled off but the day's heat held on. CJ dug her keys out and climbed into her car, rolling all the windows down before starting the engine. It was sweltering in there.

She got home without incident. It wasn't until she got into the shower – supposedly a safe area, according to Mark – that she allowed herself to replay what had happened. The kiss had been good. Better than good. She touched her fingers to her lips and tried to remember exactly how he had felt, how he had tasted, and was at a loss to describe it still.

It made her sad for no real reason. She should be grateful one of them had the sense to pull away. Instead she wanted to crawl into bed and cry for a while, something she hadn't done since her grandfather had passed away.

CJ dried off, brushed her teeth, and wrapped herself in her robe before heading into her bedroom. Technically it was still early but she was tired, so she wasn't going to sit up and wait to see what Mark was going to do. Or even if he was going to come back. Obviously she'd overstepped his limits.

She didn't bother with the blanket, or even putting on pajamas. She curled up on her side and sighed heavily. The house was too quiet. Even though she had protested Mark's presence in her bedroom she sort of missed having him talk to her. Eventually she fell asleep. She stirred a couple of hours later when she felt the bed shift next to her. It wasn't enough to fully wake her up though.

She woke up at nine the next morning feeling better, anyway. She didn't remember waking up, and didn't remember anything odd happening during the night. She looked down and saw she was still wearing her robe although she had gotten under the blanket at some point. CJ got up and spent fifteen minutes getting dressed and waking up enough to head downstairs to make some breakfast.

Mark was in the kitchen.

She paused in the doorway and looked at him for a minute. He was standing at the back door looking out over the rear of the property, a troubled frown on his face. She resolutely looked away from him and went directly to the fridge to pull out some juice. He looked the same so he hadn't been gone long. She guessed that was a good thing.

She took a healthy drink of juice before speaking. "Mornin'."

"Mmm." He didn't speak so much as make a noise of acknowledgement. CJ shrugged and went back to the fridge to find breakfast. She turned around with eggs and bacon and nearly jumped out of her skin. Because he was such a big guy she forgot how damned quiet he could be. He'd come up behind her while she'd been busy and was standing less than a foot away.

"Good grief. Are you _trying _to give me a heart attack?" She asked, fumbling the carton of eggs. Mark reached out and took them from her hand, setting them on the counter. Then he took the bacon. Then he picked up her hand and pulled her closer to him. She had to lean back to look up at him. "What?" She asked, seeing the intense look on his face.

"I want you." He stated it simply. And it made CJ feel weak in the knees. It was a good thing he still had her by the arms because she might have fallen over.

"Ok." At a loss, she couldn't seem to form a decent reply.

"But I can't have you." Mark said. "Because if I do…if something were to happen between us…" He sighed and reached up, dragging a hand over his short hair. "I would lose my status. As your guardian. There wouldn't be a question of hiding it. _They_ would know. And they'd strip me of my ability to help you, what little of it there is." He met her eyes and she could see that he was being pulled apart by his decision. It made her feel so strange, that she had such an effect on him. "You haven't figured it out yet, have you? The reason I'm here."

"I thought you said…" She trailed off, cleared her throat, tried again. "You said you wanted to change my fate."

Mark nodded. "I told you before, that things with me had changed."

"I remember." He'd stabbed himself in the heart to prove what he was. CJ thought she wasn't very likely to forget that anytime soon.

"My feelings for you were what changed."

CJ frowned. "What? I don't think I get it."

"As your guardian I was supposed to care about you. Because otherwise I wouldn't have given a damn if you walked in front of a bus. But…" He took a deep breath. "I realized…later. At some point. I fell in love with you, CJ."

Her mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. "Uh…"

"I know. I'm crazy. I don't need you to tell me. And I know the penalty for something like this happening is expulsion from being a guardian. I had to hide it." Mark took another deep breath. "It's the reason I could see your fate. Because I love you. I could see more than I was meant to because I'm attached to you in a way I am not supposed to be. And if I gave in…if I had acted last night like I wanted to…the attachment would have grown. And I wouldn't be able to block it anymore. And then I would be banished and whoever took my place would let things happen and…I can't. I can't just sit back and watch you die, CJ."

"Mark…"

"I realize that you will never feel the same way. That's why it's such a big deal when it happens. Because it's all one-sided. And it drives us to do things we wouldn't normally do. Like randomly show up and inserting ourselves into your lives…" He was rambling. CJ reached up and put her hand over his mouth and he wound down, coming to a halt.

"Normally this would be the point when I'd say something like…you can't love me because you don't even know me. But I guess in your case that isn't true." She said softly. Mark made a face and nodded. CJ kept her hand over his mouth. "This is not the craziest thing that I have believed this week." She said.

Mark reached up and caught her hand, pulling it away from his mouth. "You believe me?" 

"Well…yeah." She turned her hand in his and held his fingers. "I can't say I feel the same. Because I don't know you the way you know me…"

"I don't expect you to feel the same." Mark said. "I know how it works."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"But I _am_. I'm dense. You were actually trying to tell me that before, weren't you? And like the idiot I am, I completely ignore it and then rub some salt in the wound and kiss you. I'm a horrible person."

"You are not."

"I'm selfish." CJ didn't acknowledge his protest. "Plus I'm a hot fucking mess. Always have been. Because a part of me still wants you. Just so you know. If you can be honest, I guess I can be honest too. Although you probably already know that since you know what I'm thinking."

"Yeah." Mark sighed.

"Then I'm sorry for that too." She squeezed his fingers and let go. "Thank you."

"For?" He looked confused.

"For loving me. Nobody has ever cared enough to risk their neck for me. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm a writer and I'm horrible with words." CJ admitted. "I just…I don't like thinking that you'll be in trouble because of me. That's all." And suddenly she felt like crying again. It hit her out of nowhere.

"CJ…"

"Don't." She held up her hand and stopped him from reaching out for her. "Maybe it's better if we don't have too much physical contact, right? I mean...avoid the temptation."

"Right." But he looked hurt when he said it. Hurt and resigned to it.

CJ let out a shaky sigh. "Ok." She took a step back. "I'm sorry I kissed you. Not because I didn't enjoy it…"

"I'm not sorry." Mark said softly. His eyes moved from her eyes to her lips and back up. "I always wondered what it would be like."

"Oh." CJ had nothing she could say to that. She still felt heartbroken and had no idea why. She took a deep breath and blew it out. "I should stop talking about it. Thinking about it." She amended. "I forget that you can pick that up."

"Don't worry. I was already thinking about it."

"I don't need to rub it in." CJ repeated.

"You aren't." Mark rubbed a hand over his head. "I have to go for a little bit."

"But…"

"I have to check in." He tapped his temple. "But I'll be back."

"All right." CJ watched as he faded out, feeling sad again. She shouldn't be. It wasn't every day a girl got told that a man was in love with her. But it was scary too. Especially since it could get him into so much trouble.


	8. Chapter 8

8-

"Oh come on, Ceej. You have to!"

"I don't _have_ to do anything." CJ pointed out, amused in spite of herself. Jackie had called just after lunch begging CJ to work her shift that night. It was a short shift – nine to close, which was just four hours. Normally she wouldn't mind but she liked to give Jackie grief when the opportunity presented itself. "What's in it for me?"

"My undying love and gratitude." Jackie kept talking.

CJ Laughed. "Right. I got that the _last_ time I covered for you."

"Please? Please, please, please…" She rattled out quite a few more of those before CJ finally heaved a sigh.

"Fine. Yes. But this is the last time. Stop making dates for nights you're scheduled to work."

"Well it was supposed to be _after _work, but he's got to be on duty at midnight." Jackie said. "He's a cop. Did I tell you he's a cop?"

"You might have mentioned it." CJ said with a laugh. Nothing excited Jackie more than catching the interest of someone with a semi-dangerous job. She was such a groupie for cops and fire fighters it was damn near ridiculous.

"Do you see why this is so important?" Jackie asked with a laugh.

"Yes. You make me ill, but yes. Next time I get scheduled for a Friday or Saturday, you're taking it. No arguments."

"You've got it." Jackie hung up and CJ shook her head and returned the phone to the charger.

To be perfectly honest, she was almost glad to go back to work a night early. Because she'd sat around all day doing a whole lot of nothing, feeling sorry for herself for no damned good reason. At least it would take her mind off of what had happened that morning.

Mark hadn't come back yet. Every time she heard the house creak she jumped. It was starting to be ridiculous. She couldn't concentrate on her writing, and nothing else seemed to be working.

At eight-thirty she was ready to head out the door. Mark still hadn't returned. CJ figured he was going to distance himself, maybe he'd changed his mind about the whole 'changing her fate' thing. She wouldn't blame him.

She had gotten dressed in her usual work attire – a pair of tight-fitting jeans and a wrap top that showed off way more cleavage than her strapless shirt the night before. CJ had no qualms about using her assets to get better tips. She had seen some waitresses wear way less; short skirts, tube tops, high heels that looked painful. She considered her outfit to be modest by comparison. She pulled her hair up into a ponytail and applied a layer of lip gloss before grabbing her small wallet and keys and heading out to her car.

In usual Tuesday fashion, it was pretty quiet at the bar. The TV was tuned to a news station but the volume was muted in favor of the same type of music that they played the night before. CJ liked Tuesdays normally – she knew just about all of the customers, and she found that the time passed pretty quickly because she had more people to talk to.

It was just past eleven when one of the regulars, Andy Rogers, leaned across the bar. "CJ when are you gonna put me out of my misery and go on a date with me?"

CJ smiled. "Andy. I dated you."

"In high school!"

"The dangers of a small town." CJ said with a sigh.

"You said if I ever broke it off with Lizzie Evans…"

CJ started laughing. "Now you're really reaching. Lizzie Evans was…what…ten years ago? It took you _this _long to remember?"

"I never forgot." Andy winked at her. CJ had to grin. He was cute, in an oddball sort of puppy way. Of course she had thought that in high school as well. She started to turn away then thought better of it.

"Were you serious?"

"About what?"

"Wanting to go out." CJ said in an exasperated voice.

"I'm always serious about it. And you're always shooting me down." Andy grinned.

"Well. Maybe I changed my mind. When?"

He raised an eyebrow. "How about Thursday?"

"I have to work."

"I mean…lunchtime Thursday." Now that she was interested, he was blushing.

"Oh. Then Thursday is good." She picked up her order pad and wrote down her phone number. It was not the strangest thing she'd done that week. She tore the paper and handed it to Andy. "Call me tomorrow and we'll pick a time."

"Sure." He grinned and slipped the paper into his shirt pocket. He also drained the last of his beer when his friend came up and hit him on the shoulder. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." He said shyly, paying his tab.

"All right." CJ smiled and collected the money, along with a very healthy tip. Sometimes it paid to be nice. Plus she liked Andy. He was a very nice guy, so she wouldn't have to worry too much about him being overbearing.

The night was winding down to a close finally. CJ sat at the bar and counted out her money, listening with one ear to the chatter around her. Ella, one of the other waitresses, had also worked that night. She was going on and on about something she had seen on the news. CJ mostly tuned her out because she normally could be counted on to be an airhead.

Apparently she had someone else's attention. They turned the TV back on and cranked the volume up. CJ finished counting out her money, signed off on her paperwork, and was ready to go. It wasn't until Sam pointed at the TV that she looked. "Check it out, Ceej. She could be your sister."

CJ frowned and looked up. The big story of the moment was an apparent home invasion that had gone wrong. Although if someone broke into somebody else's house, something was already very wrong in her humble opinion. The story went on, saying that the woman had been killed, and the house had been burned down to cover up evidence. It took a minute for the story to cycle around to showing the woman. CJ didn't catch her name but a picture flashed on the screen showing a young woman with long dark hair and blue eyes.

"She doesn't look like me." CJ denied. Sam scoffed.

"Sure she does. Same nose. Same hair. And your eyes." He looked at the TV. "Ok. No. Maybe your eyes are a little darker."

"I don't see it." CJ made a face. The news moved on to something else, and she lost what little interest she'd had. So had everyone else. Except for Ella, who was going on and on about how dangerous it was to live alone without at least a good sized dog for protection. CJ grinned and said her goodbyes before heading out to the parking lot. There was only one bouncer on duty on a Tuesday and he looked bored enough to fall asleep. Luckily he was almost done for the night. CJ got into her car and rolled the windows down to take advantage of the night air as she drove home.

CJ showered and pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top, her nod toward pajamas. She crawled into bed finally, tired, feeling better than she had earlier. It helped she hadn't sat around all night wallowing in her problems.

She supposed there were worse problems she could have. She felt bad for Mark though. She'd never experienced anything like he was obviously going through; she'd only had her share of one-sided crushes. He still hadn't returned from wherever it was he had gone. CJ sighed and closed her eyes, forcing herself to stop thinking about it. She'd done good all night. No sense in dredging it all up again.

She got up the next morning and was disappointed because once again, Mark had not returned. She finished her breakfast and sat down in front of her computer, determined to get some real work done. By the time she took a break late afternoon for something to eat, she had made some headway into the story she was working on. Andy called and suggested a one o'clock lunch, which CJ was agreeable to.

By the time five rolled around she was ready for another night of work. And it was very routine. She flirted and talked with her regulars, served drinks and deep fried snack foods to people, even took a turn on the dance floor after some coaxing from Jackie. It wasn't until her break that she had a chance to sit down and have five minutes to herself. Or so she thought. Jackie appeared in what they jokingly referred to as the employee break room – a tiny office at the very back of the kitchen area that they used to escape the noise.

"I heard a crazy rumor that you and Andy are going out tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow for lunch." She corrected, taking a drink of her soda. "Good news travels fast around here."

"Yeah, well. What happened to that gorgeous guy you were with the other night? Mark?" Jackie asked, sitting down in the room's only other chair.

"It's…complicated." At least that was truthful. "And we're just friends."

"Bummer. That is not the kind of man you can be 'just friends' with."

"Jackie, have you ever met a man you managed to stay _just friends_ with?" CJ asked, not taking the bait of this entire conversation.

"Sure. After I fuck 'em a time or two." Jackie shrugged, missing the point entirely.

"I have such classy friends." CJ said with a faint smile.

"I am a classy bitch." Jackie smirked. "So Andy…"

"What?"

"He's just so…sweet." As if it was a bad thing.

"I realize that having a nice guy buy you lunch would be an insult to your lady parts, but the rest of the female universe enjoys making them work for it on occasion." CJ said, grinning.

"I make them work for it." Jackie said sarcastically. "They have to at least _ask_. Didn't you do Andy back in high school?"

"No I did not do Andy in high school." CJ snickered. "Andy was undoable. He was so afraid of girls that he couldn't get through a good night kiss without stuttering or tripping on his own feet."

"Hope for your sake that's changed."

"Why do you assume I'm going to sleep with him anyway? I just agreed to lunch. Not a roll in the hay."

"Rebound sex."

"I'm past that."

"Sure. And I'm the Virgin Queen."

It made CJ laugh anyway. She honestly had no intention of sleeping with Andy, not tomorrow, not in the foreseeable future. She just didn't want to sit around thinking too much, that was all.

It wasn't until later that night, when she went to bed, that she wondered why some guy she barely knew was having such an effect on her. She missed him and she didn't even know why. Maybe because that voice in her head, the one Mark had claimed was his, seemed to have deserted her as well. For the first time in a long time she felt alone. She sighed and curled up with her pillow and willed the thoughts away. He would either come back or not. That was up to him. She definitely was not going to sit and wait to see what he would do.

CJ actually had a good time. There was that at least. She wouldn't classify it as a date with potential, but Andy was a sweet enough guy. And he could be unintentionally funny. They spent two hours at lunch and wandering around the park in town, just talking – mostly about people they remembered from high school. It was another one of those small town downfalls in CJ's opinion. She had driven herself to town. When it was time for him to go back to work and her to go home she gave him a sisterly kiss on the cheek, which had cracked him up. In CJ's book, Andy was still undoable. He was just a little _too_ nice, _too_ sweet. Definitely meant for somebody who wasn't sarcastic or cynical like she could be.

Still it had been nice to go out without any sort of expectation hanging over her. When CJ got back to her house, she looked at the clock and decided that working on her writing would have to wait until the next day. She wanted to soak in her tub before getting ready for work.

She'd just settled into the bubbles when someone knocked on her bathroom door. CJ raised her eyebrow and look at the door, wondering if she was hearing things.

"You aren't hearing things. It's just me."

CJ smiled at Mark's voice. And felt relieved, oddly enough. "So you _do _know how to knock."

"Just because I don't knock doesn't mean I don't know how." He cleared his throat. "Plus I told you - the bathroom is off limits."

"Good thing." CJ leaned back and sighed.

"How long are you going to be in there?"

"I just got in the tub." CJ said in exasperation. The guy disappears for a couple of days and suddenly he's got a schedule.

"Oh." Mark paused for a moment. "A couple of days?"

She definitely hadn't missed the mind-reading thing. "Yeah. It's Thursday. You disappeared on Tuesday."

"Huh." He sounded surprised.

"You know – you could hover outside the door or you can come in and sit and talk like a normal person."

"I don't think…"

"Don't worry. I'm all covered up. Besides that – I'm pretty sure I think that seeing into somebody's head is way more violating that catching a peek of a stray boob."

"Number one, I am not a _normal_ person. And number two – I don't think that's a good idea." He paused. "An interesting one, but not a good one."

"Suit yourself." CJ picked up her wash cloth, wrung the excess water out of it, and settled it over her eyes as she leaned her head back. That lasted all of five minutes. She pulled the cloth off her eyes and looked at the door. "Are you still there?"

"Nope."

CJ laughed. "Smartass. Why don't you go watch TV or read a book or something? Instead of standing at the door and making me feel all rushed."

"No rush." He paused again. "I don't think you should go to work tonight though."

"Oh yeah? And why is that?" CJ smiled and poured some soap onto her washcloth.

"It just wouldn't be a good idea."

"Specifically because of what?"

"There's going to be trouble."

"Do you understand the mechanics of being specific?" CJ asked.

"Yes. I also know that seeing bits and pieces of your future and keeping my mouth shut is a hard habit to break."

"Well. I have to work tonight. Because then I'm off for the next three. There's nobody to cover for me."

"It's not a selfish thing this time." Mark admitted. There was a soft thump from the door. CJ frowned and realized that he was leaning his forehead against the door. "It's real trouble this time."

"Not the fated kind of trouble?"

"No. Not that yet."

"Well then. I guess I'll just have to risk it." Mark made a noise. It made her smile again. She always found it amusing when she could aggravate someone. "Besides that, Jackie's working tonight and if there's trouble I'd feel horrible if something happened to her and not me. Call me crazy. I don't care."

"I figured you'd say that."

"Then why are we having this conversation? Go play! I'll be out in a little bit."

"Fine." Mark finally said. She heard his footsteps moving away from the door and smiled again. As silly as it sounded it was nice to have him back. She wondered idly if he looked different this time and figured she would find out soon enough. She sighed and sank down into her hot water to try to find the relaxed state she'd been in before he'd knocked on the door.


	9. Chapter 9

9-

"You know, you didn't have to come." CJ pointed out. Not for the first time. Mark was sitting in a corner booth, as out of the way as he could possibly get. He was conspicuous because he wasn't drinking. At least in her opinion. And he also looked like he was undergoing some heavy torture.

CJ thought it was funny. She hated Fridays when the music was so loud that it was impossible to know what song was playing and the place was packed elbow-to-elbow with drunks, but loved Thursdays when a sizeable crowd tried their hand at karaoke. At eleven there would be an actual contest for a cash prize, and they usually had a handful of people who actually _could _sing vying for it.

"And miss all this excitement?" He couldn't have possibly sounded more bored. CJ grinned and turned to head back toward the bar. Much as she would have liked to sit around and chat, she was busy. Jackie kept shooting her knowing looks, but CJ had no idea what it was that Jackie knew that she didn't.

She went to the bar and set her serving tray down with a sigh. Sam started filling it with beer bottles again – that was the usual drink of choice for the karaoke crowd. CJ took a minute to smooth her t-shirt over her stomach. She was tempting fate by wearing white to work – usually it ended badly when she did that. But it worked for her. She was wearing a tight, white v-neck top and a pair of black jeans. Sedate for a Thursday night anyway. It didn't matter. The V was deep enough that guys were checking out her cleavage and dropping tips onto her tray. Jackie – in a pair of shorts, a western-style shirt tied around her midriff and unbuttoned to near illegal levels, and cowboy boots was going to kill her in tips that night. It was funny how what they chose to wear to work dictated who would make money on any given night, even when dealing with their regulars.

She glanced over at Mark for what felt like the millionth time. Making sure he didn't disappear again. He'd changed; CJ found she hadn't been the least bit surprised. His hair was long again. It was still black though. Also his goatee was trimmed short. He also seemed a little older than before but it was impossible to judge just _how_ old. If CJ had to guess, she'd have said maybe 40. He still couldn't explain it. Actually he hadn't explained much of anything, other than he had thought he'd only been gone a short time, not two whole days.

He said he'd been digging around, trying to get more information about what CJ's fate had in store for her. But he'd run into nothing but dead ends. He was frustrated – it was obvious even to CJ even though he tried not to let it show.

She had expected there to be awkwardness between them and was surprised when there wasn't. Mark had, however, been more reserved. CJ wished he couldn't read her mind because she wanted to try to figure out why without him knowing it.

And none of that mattered for now anyway. Work was busy and she was having a good time although she was very distracted. Not only keeping an eye on Mark but on Jackie. Wondering just what this big thing was she should have stayed home to avoid.

"Uh oh. Your boyfriend has company." Jackie walked up to the bar next to her and slid a food order from one of the booths across to Sam to hand back to the kitchen.

"I wasn't aware I had a boyfriend." CJ said with a smirk.

"Please. You can say that 'just friends' crap all day long. It does not change the fact that the man is eyeballing you like he's starving and you're the buffet."

CJ laughed at that. "Gosh I should just go tell him to eat me, I guess."

Jackie cracked up. "You should!"

CJ only smiled. She did however steal another look at the booth where Mark sat. And Jackie had a point. He was no longer alone – a woman she didn't recognize was sitting across from him. CJ looked at her for a moment, admiring her hair which was a sun-streaked chocolate brown.

And that was good for him she supposed. Just because they couldn't hook up didn't mean he had to be a monk. Or did he? It wasn't something they had gone into other than him saying he couldn't go further with her. CJ took that to mean he could do whatever he wanted with and to anybody else. It was confusing. And then she realized he could probably hear everything she'd just thought and had to laugh at herself.

She picked up her loaded tray and made her way through the crowd. She stopped every few feet to sell a beer and yes, to flirt. Because flirting with the men – and sometimes the woman – was how she made her tips. Most people were in a great mood and there was a lot of laughter at the expense of those brave enough to get up and sing in front of the crowd.

At 10:30, they announced the contest sign-up and the DJ's break. It meant loud dance music for 30 minutes, where the crowd would usually get rowdy and pumped up to cheer on their friends. CJ thought it was kind of silly but it worked. It was the only part of the night where the patrons could really be classified as rowdy. So of course that was when it happened.

There would be a lot of debate over what started the fire, but that would be weeks ahead. In the midst of the loud dance music, the talking laughing customers, and the general happy chaos that always seemed to erupt during the half hour before the contest, the fire alarm started ringing.

As if the alarm had caused it, black smoke started to billow through the doors that led to the kitchen. It quickly filled the huge bar area and dance floor. At first the customers merely looked confused. It wasn't until the sprinkler system kicked on that they became panicked and started running for the exits.

CJ found herself jostled around. She dropped her tray, not caring that she'd probably just spilled about fifty dollars worth of beer. In the general rush of people toward the exits she couldn't see Jackie. Jackie had been behind the bar, dancing and acting goofy with Sam moments before. Now she could hardly see two feet in front of her because the smoke was so thick and the water was not helping matters.

She was almost knocked over several times because she was trying to go toward the bar, not the exit, which was against the flow of the several hundred people who were there. She paused when someone in the kitchen started screaming.

Somebody grabbed her arm. CJ looked around and Mark was standing there, looking remarkably calm. "You have to get out." She could hear him clearly even over the now screaming crowd. It was like the scream from the kitchen had set it off.

"Not without Jackie!" CJ pushed her wet hair back from her face and started coughing. The smoke was starting to get to her. Mark looked at her, concerned, and seemed to realize that she wouldn't be budged on it. He got in front of her and had way more luck getting through than she had been. People moved out of the way when they saw him coming.

There were loud popping noises from overhead and sparks shot down from the ceiling. The water from the sprinklers had shorted out the lights somehow, and the bulbs were exploding. The place got even darker than it had been. CJ almost lost Mark even though he had to be right in front of her. She reached out and hooked her hand into his belt, not wanting to be left behind.

Jackie was behind the bar. CJ hadn't seen her because she was on the floor, holding a towel against Sam's shoulder. Over the racket no one had heard her screaming for help. Sam had been hit by something, likely one of the heavy shelves that ran along the wall. The smell of alcohol was overwhelming and this close to the kitchen CJ could see the dull orange glow of the fire that was burning beyond the swinging doors.

Jackie was bleeding as well, but superficially, from cuts on her hands and knees from broken glass. She'd fallen down at some point on top of the broken bottles that littered the floor. Jackie looked up and saw CJ, and for a moment CJ didn't recognize her friend. She'd never seen her so terrified.

"I can't get the bleeding to stop." She shouted. And that was when CJ noticed that the towel was bright red with blood. And Jackie was shaking like a leaf, unable to really hold pressure where she needed to because she was a second away from fully freaking out.

CJ got down on the floor and moved Jackie out of her way, then refolded the towel and set it against what looked like a nasty gash that ran along the side of Sam's neck. He blinked slowly and seemed not to see CJ at all. He had lost a lot of blood judging by the puddle that had formed around his head.

"We have to get out of here." Mark had knelt next to her. He spoke into CJ's ear.

"I'm not leaving him." She looked into Mark's eyes and saw that he was not the least bit worried, panicked, or even mildly disturbed by the chaos around them. She supposed he was sort of untouchable given what he was, which was nice for him. The rest of the normal people weren't so lucky.

He looked back at her for a moment that seemed to stretch out much longer. Then he sighed. "Move. Grab your friend, and hold on to me. I'll lead you out. Do not let go of me, you hear me?"

"Yes." CJ reluctantly released her hold on Sam's towel. Then she grabbed Sam's hand and raised it so he could feel it. She got right into his ear. "Sam? We're getting you out. Hold on to this and don't let it go!" She spoke loudly and felt his fingers tighten around the towel. That was good enough for her. It would have to be. Mark was scooping Sam up as if he were weightless.

CJ groped for Jackie's hand then looped her free hand through Mark's belt once again. It had worked well the first time. The smoke was considerably thicker now, the smell stronger. It was impossible to draw in a deep breath. CJ coughed but kept moving, letting Mark led them, feeling the way Jackie pulled at her hand because she was limping so badly behind her. It seemed to take forever. In reality it couldn't have been more than a few minutes. Mark finally led them through the metal double front doors and out into the parking lot.

Over all the other noise CJ had not heard the fire trucks or ambulances arrive. Mark walked them through the crowd of wet, soot-streaked bar patrons and straight to an idling ambulance. He handed Sam over without a word, and turned to look at CJ who was fussing over Jackie's scraped and bleeding knees.

"It's nothing." Jackie said, coughing. Her eyes were streaming tears as well, either reaction to the smoke or just reaction period.

"It's not _nothing_." One of the EMTs, an older looking tall guy with piercing blue eyes, was looking at them curiously. CJ pointed to Jackie. "Do you think it's possible to get the glass out of her knees?"

"Sure. Come on darlin'. We'll get you patched up." The guy took Jackie's arm and started to lead the way toward another idling ambulance. "I think we're lucky this time. So far only minor injuries."

"Great." CJ said sarcastically. She started coughing, tasting smoke in her throat, and wished she had something to drink.

"Ceej…" Jackie paused before climbing up onto the ambulance.

"Yeah?"

Jackie smirked. "Your shirt is kinda sorta see-through. At the moment."

CJ looked down at herself and shrugged. It wasn't like anybody was paying attention to her anyway. She was soaked from the sprinkler water, which of course rendered her white shirt basically second skin. "Consider it your thrill for the night."

Jackie's smile was shaky but she tried anyway. She protested a trip to the hospital but the EMT insisted because he couldn't get all the glass out of her hands and knees. CJ watched them leave then turned to look at the bar.

Or what was left of it. Flames were coming up through the roof in the back. There were more of those popping noises as glass bottles overheated and exploded. Every now and then a fountain of flame would shoot up. There was a cracking rumble and part of the roof fell into the building. The fire fighters were doing their best but the place was a total wreck. CJ only hoped that everyone had gotten out.

She felt someone drop a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Mark standing there. For a minute she had completely forgotten about him. He was holding out his shirt, which he had removed at some point. "You might want to cover up." He said, pointedly not looking any lower than her face.

"What about you?" CJ took his shirt and pulled it on. And then she studied him in the flickering glow of the fire, and lights from the emergency vehicles.

"What about me? Pretty sure that I can get away with going shirtless."

"I'm not _shirtless_." CJ said, understanding that he was trying to joke her out of having some kind of aftershock reaction to what had happened. She felt so calm though. Which was probably why he was worried. "You, however, might start a riot."

Mark gave her a half-smile. That coupled with the bare chest and the muscular arms – lord help her. She was starting to wonder if she was having some kind of reaction to inhaling so much smoke. Then she decided she wasn't. She'd been attracted to him before so she shouldn't be surprised.

She wanted to go home and take a shower. She reeked of smoke and it made her cough every time she got a whiff of it. Eventually the cops got around to taking down her information. They were making lists to get a head count and figure out if there was anyone missing. CJ had gotten bottled water from one of the EMTs and that helped with the coughing, but heading home helped more. Of course she did it with all the windows rolled down and wondered how much smoke smell would be stuck in the leather seats.


	10. Chapter 10

10-

Mark was remarkably untouched. He didn't even have soot on him, and CJ was covered with black streaks. She went into the bathroom and stripped, saving Mark's shirt but tossing her own clothes into the garbage. She tied the bag off to keep the smell from infiltrating the entire room. Then she scrubbed off what felt like two layers of skin. She had to wash her hair four times to finally be satisfied that the smell of smoke was only in her head, not on it. She finally off the water and dried off, and was careful to clean under her fingernails and her ears. Then she brushed her teeth twice, just to get the taste of charred wood out of her mouth.

CJ pulled her robe on and grabbed her garbage bag, plus Mark's shirt. He was downstairs in the living room. She handed him his shirt without a word, noting with no surprise at all that he didn't so much as have a whiff of smoke on him, and he was completely dry. The water from the sprinklers hadn't touched him.

She dropped her garbage bag on the porch; it would keep there until daylight when she'd throw it in the outgoing garbage. She went back into the living room and saw that Mark was still standing there, studying her closely.

"What?"

"You." He gestured at the couch. "Come on. Sit down."

"I don't want to _sit_. I want to go to bed."

"No you don't." He reached over and took her hand, pulling her fully into the living room. He gently pushed her shoulders and CJ sat on the couch, looking at him in confusion. "You're shaking."

"No I'm not." Even as she said it, she looked at her hands and saw that she was in fact shaking just as much as Jackie had been. "Ok. Maybe I am. A little."

"Delayed reaction." Mark said softly. He covered her hands with his.

"You saw this coming."

"No. Well. Kind of."

"What part did you see?"

"I didn't actually _see_ anything. I just had a feeling that there would be trouble tonight. Not the kind of trouble that would put you in danger. At least until it happened and I saw you going the wrong direction."

"I wasn't going to leave Jackie there."

"I know." Mark was kneeling in front of her, putting them more or less at eye level. He reached out and brushed her wet hair back from her face. "I don't think she was in any danger. But she's not mine to watch out for so I can't be sure."

At least he was honest. CJ started shivering. "I'm freezing." She said through chattering teeth.

Mark studied her closely. She met his eyes even though she wanted to just crawl under a pile of blankets and burrow in like a hibernating bear. "I'll make you some coffee."

"I don't want coffee." CJ made a face. The thought of coffee made her throat hurt.

"Hot chocolate?" Mark tried again.

"I don't keep that in the house." She turned her hands over and gripped his fingers in hers. "I'm not going to freak out or anything. I mean…I know it was a fire and dangerous but I never actually felt like I was in danger. Was that because of you?"

"No. That was because of you. You're the bravest person I've ever met."

CJ scoffed. "Then why can't I stop shaking?"

"Because even brave people have adrenaline drains. And that's all this is."

"Do I still smell like smoke?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure. You smell like soap and shampoo." He slowly stroked her hands with his. "Do you want a drink?"

"No." CJ shook her head.

"Ok." Mark nodded. He was once more studying her, the look on his face intense. Serious. Normally it might have made CJ squirm, because she could practically feel him in her head, trying to get a read on her. Good luck to him. She couldn't even straighten out her own jumbled thoughts. He made a face, hesitated, then pulled her hands. CJ let herself be pulled until he was holding her on his lap there in the floor with his arms wrapped around her protectively. CJ held herself stiff for a moment, not sure what exactly he was trying to do. She finally put her arms around his shoulders and rested her head against him, sighing and forcing herself to just relax. Mark rocked her for a few minutes, both of them quiet.

"I'm ok." She finally spoke although what came out was a whisper.

"Of course you are."

CJ didn't have to look to know that he was doing that half-smile again. She sighed and closed her eyes, feeling his hair tickle the backs of her hands. He still smelled edible. Not of it had touched him. She found herself nuzzling his neck without even being aware that she was doing it.

"CJ?" His soft voice broke into her wayward thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You might want to knock that off."

"I know." She kissed him right under his ear and felt him suck in a breath. "I can't seem to help myself though."

"You're just in shock."

"No. I don't think so." Her shakes from just a minute before were gone. She felt calm and at peace. The phantom smoke smell was gone too. Now she was just tired. Tired and curious about the big guy whose lap she was currently occupying. Also, since he was shirtless, she was feeling about twelve acres of warm, smooth skin under her hands and it reminded her that she was wearing nothing but a thin silk bathrobe.

He groaned. Apparently he could hear that thought loud and clear. CJ smiled and kissed his neck again, letting her lips linger on his skin for a few moments. She knew that he couldn't do this but it didn't stop her from wanting it anyway. What kind of trouble could he get into anyway? CJ realized that she was doing it again – being selfish. She couldn't seem to help herself though. She had no clue what it was about him that attracted her so damned much.

She pulled back and looked into his eyes with an apology ready. It dried up in her throat though. Because he was looking at her with those intense green eyes and what she saw in them was clearer than any words he could have spoken. It was torture for him, to hold himself back. And she was not making things any better.

"It would be worth it." His voice when he finally spoke was hoarse.

CJ frowned and shook her head. "What would?"

"This. One night. With you. It would be worth every consequence."

She was stunned at that. "Mark…"

"Except for you dying. That's what I can't live with." Mark sighed and ran his fingers through her hair absently. "I don't care what they do to me. If I'm stuck forever in some kind of limbo or tossed out into something unknown…none of that matters. But if we do this…" He didn't have to elaborate on the 'this'. CJ already knew. "Then I don't know how to protect you from fate."

"Then don't." CJ couldn't believe that had come out of her mouth. Even Mark looked surprised at that. "You said it couldn't be changed."

"Not that I've ever heard."

"Then does it make any sense at all to waste the chance to be together?" CJ ran a fingertip lightly over his lower lip, making him sigh. "If you try to change my fate, and it doesn't work, then I'll die anyway."

"I can't let that happen."

"But for you to move on, eventually you'll have to let me go." CJ pointed out. "Isn't that how you told me it worked?"

"Yes, but…"

"Then what does it matter? At least as far as I'm concerned. You can't always walk around, looking up for pianos that might fall on your head. I'm as likely to drop dead from an undiagnosed aneurism as I am to be murdered by a guy in a hockey mask with a machete. And if you've watched enough horror movies, you would know that I would not be the girl who made it to the end anyway."

"It's not a movie, CJ. It's your life. It's precious."

"That might be true. It's also _mine_ to use or waste how I see fit. I could sit around and wait for the inevitable or I could enjoy what little time I might have left."

"It's still not real to you, is it?" Mark asked, voice conveying a note of sadness.

"It's real enough."

"Nobody flips Death the middle finger, but you're managing to do it."

CJ snorted at that. "I'm scared of dying. Isn't everybody? But I also lost my mom, my grandparents, my father, and quite a few other people I care about way too early. So nobody knows like I do that when it's your time, it's your time. The end."

"How can I protect you if you don't want to fight?"

"Give me a reason to fight for it." CJ challenged him.

Mark looked at her for a moment, his mouth hanging open. "You don't even know what will happen…after. I might disappear and never come back. What kind of reason would that be?"

CJ felt her insides go cold at that. "But you don't know that. Just like you don't know if you can even stop my fate at all."

"That's right."

"Has anybody ever done this? A guardian and their – whatever it is – that they watch over?"

"Yes. But no one talks about it. No one asks about it. It's…just an understood line that can't be crossed."

"That's not true. It _can_ be crossed, obviously."

"Then it shouldn't be crossed." Mark corrected himself.

"You are so hard-headed it is ridiculous." CJ pointed out in exasperation. She also pulled away from him and rose to her feet, adjusting her robe so it was wrapped securely around her.

"I have to be, to put up with you." Mark said, completely serious. CJ said nothing. She turned and walked up the stairs and disappeared into her bedroom. She slammed the door behind herself as well, because it made her feel better. That was twice he had shot her down. Maybe she'd have been better off hooking up with some random guy and working off her energy.

Sad thing was, she didn't want some random guy. For some reason even she couldn't fathom, she wanted Mark. Muttering to herself she stripped her robe off and slipped into bed, determined to just stop thinking about him. She had failed to make him understand her point – that even if he managed to change her fate and save her life, he was still going to be punished for transgressing the limit of what his power should have allowed. So he was in the same boat she was. Damned if they did; damned if they didn't.

She was too aggravated to sleep. And she was annoyed even more when, after half an hour passed, she heard her bedroom door open. "What?" She asked, irritated. She should have been grateful he had at least used the door.

He didn't answer her but she felt the bed shift with his weight. She had her back to him and she was determined to keep it that way.

"You're right." He finally said, keeping his voice low. "Damned if we do. Damned if we don't. But I wish you'd understand that it's worth risking my neck to save yours. And I won't risk yours just so I can satisfy a physical urge. You're way more to me than that. If it was just sex, then I wouldn't be fighting so hard."

CJ said nothing. She actually forced herself to think of nothing, not even wanting him to have that to rely on for guidance.

Mark sighed and went on. "Besides all of that, you had a close call tonight. Do you honestly think I want my first time with you to be because you have survivor's guilt?"

"I do not feel guilty." CJ finally couldn't hold her tongue. "Nobody died. Why would I feel guilty?"

"Nobody has to die for a person to have survivor's guilt. It's that thing in you that wants you to use sex to prove you're alive. That thing that makes you talk too loud, and laugh too loud at jokes." He paused for a moment. "You think it's easy for me to say no to you? I really do wish you could read _my _mind. Because darlin', there is nothin' I wouldn't do to be with you. I love you. But if lovin' you means that I have to deny what I want in favor of protecting you, then that's what I'm going to do. And you are not going to change my mind."

"Then you probably don't want to be in here with me right now."

"Why?" She could hear the confusion in his voice.

"Because I am not putting on pajamas or clothes just so you can keep some self-inflicted vow of chastity."

He made a low noise that she couldn't have defined if she wanted to, something between a choked laugh, a cough, and a groan.

"You definitely do not play fair, do you?" Again, she detected admiration in his voice. He had more emotional switches than a woman with PMS as far as CJ was concerned.

"I'm not playing. I like to sleep naked." As if to punctuate the point, she yawned. "I'm going to sleep. And in the morning I'm going to go check on Jackie and Sam."

"Ok." Mark hesitated. "I'm staying here."

"Knock yourself out." CJ snuggled under her blanket, still upset without really knowing why exactly, but too tired to analyze it anymore. She just wanted to sleep for a few hours; and then maybe the world could start making sense.


	11. Chapter 11

11-

CJ did not sleep for long. At least it didn't feel like it.

She cracked an eye open and registered bright sunlight. So she'd made it past dawn. Her alarm clock by the bed said it was nearly noon. She hadn't slept so late in a long time. And she probably would have still been sleeping if she hadn't been awakened.

Before she could wonder what it had been that pulled her out of a deep sleep she heard it again. A noise from downstairs. She slowly turned and noted, completely unsurprised, that Mark was no longer in the bed with her. She spent a few minutes getting dressed and brushing the tangles out of her hair before heading down the stairs to see what he was up to.

She nearly tripped over her own feet when she got the kitchen. Because it wasn't Mark standing there. It was a woman that CJ had never seen before.

No – she had seen her. Briefly. The night before she had been sharing the booth with Mark before all hell had broken loose. CJ remembered admiring her hair, and she did it again – the woman had shiny chocolate brown hair with sun streaks through it. It was very striking. She also had what her grandmother would have referred to as harlequin green eyes; a bright green with an under tint of gold that resembled cat eyes.

"Good morning." The woman smiled at her. CJ raised an eyebrow and looked around.

"Uh. Morning?" She made it a question. She also found her tongue. "Who the hell are you? And why are you in my kitchen?"

The woman's smile never faltered. "My name is Lucky. I'm sort of a….friend…of Mark's."

"Right. _Lucky_. What part of Mark would consider it all right to invite random strangers into my house?"

"He didn't invite me. And yes, Lucky. Or, actually, Luciana, but that's sort of a formal name and nobody ever calls me that."

"So he didn't invite you. Yet here you are."

"Right." Lucky grinned as if CJ had just made some sort of major revelation.

"Ok. I don't know if you know this, but I have reached my quota of crazy this week. So start making sense or get out of my house."

"I'd love to make sense. Do you want breakfast?"

"No."

"Then can we go sit outside?"

CJ sighed in exasperation. "Sure, why the hell not?" She led the way onto the back porch. Once they were sitting at the small table she saw that Lucky was still studying her rather closely with those unusual cat-like eyes. "And where is Mark this morning?"

"I gave him something to do." Lucky shrugged. She also flashed a half-smile that was similar to Mark's nearly down to the dimple. "I'm kind of his boss."

"Kind of?"

"Yes. Not really a _boss_ like I run the place, more like I oversee that things that he does and keep him from swerving too far off the path."

CJ frowned. "Is Mark in trouble? Because of me?"

"No, no. Not at all." Lucky was quick to reassure her. "I'm kind of intrigued though. All the secretive little trips. Disappearing for days at a time. It's totally unlike him." She smiled. "Also he's under the impression that I don't notice these things. Just because I don't call guardians out on every little thing doesn't mean I'm clueless."

CJ said nothing to that. Because even though Lucky had said Mark wasn't in trouble, it sure sounded like he was. And it also sounded like Lucky was trying to draw CJ out, to make her tell her what was going on. Her natural inclination was to clam up and wait the other woman out.

Lucky was still studying her. The more she studied, the more she reminded CJ of a cat. It wasn't just the eyes. There was something about her whole demeanor that did it. Also there was a very real resemblance between Mark and Lucky. Maybe not a close resemblance like brother and sister, but cousins? CJ would buy that.

"So I've decided maybe to help him out."

CJ's eyebrows went up. "Why would you help him out?"

"Because he thinks I won't." Lucky said with an impish grin. "I'm not totally against a guardian intervention on occasion. Actually, I'm curious to see if it can be done."

"You've lost me."

"Guardians overstep their boundaries all the time. Some of them unknowingly. Some of them on purpose. To a point, we can ignore that. Slip ups happen, and it's hard to care for someone and never actually _speak _to them." Lucky held her gaze and waited for CJ to nod before going on. "Some guardians take it…a little farther."

"Like this? Dragging the boss into things?" CJ couldn't help it.

"I wasn't _dragged_. I was curious." Lucky corrected her. "Until now Mark was pretty much all business. Serious to a fault. So reliable you could practically set a watch by him. And it all changed."

"Because of…"

Lucky shrugged. "The weather? Your guess is as good as mine. Anyway it got me wondering what was going on. And as good as he is at hiding what he's thinking, I'm even better at figuring it out."

"Mm hmm. And you figured out what exactly?"

"That a little crush turned into a big problem. Well. Big to some. Not surprising to me at all really." Lucky made a face, but looked amused.

"Again, I don't think I follow."

"Do you believe in soul mates?"

CJ scoffed. "Not hardly. Why?"

"Because in a perfect world, he would be yours and you would be his."

"Soul mates." CJ repeated it and shook her head.

"You two keep managing to find each other." Lucky said it almost under her breath, as if she were thinking out loud.

"Wait…"

"This time was partially my fault because when it was your mother's time to move on, your grandmother asked him personally to look out for you."

"What do you mean, we keep managing to find each other?" CJ asked, breaking into Lucky's thought train.

"I mean exactly what I just said." Lucky was looking at her as if she were crazy. CJ was starting to feel crazy. "Ok. Look. A few lifetimes ago the two of you were together. Both of you living breathing human beings. One of you died. It doesn't matter which one…" Lucky saw CJ open her mouth to ask and cut her off. "Because that doesn't matter. What happened was one of you became a guardian to the other. And then when the second one passed, the first moved on and started the cycle again. Neither one of you can really move on because you keep on developing feelings for each other that are supposed to be wiped out after you move on and get reborn. But _no_. You insist on picking up right where you left off."

"That's horrible. That's…" CJ was frowning at the other woman, wishing she didn't sound so damned happy about it. "That's cruel. Why not just end it or…" She had no idea how to finish because she had no idea how any of it worked. "Oh. Oh my god." It hit CJ then. Hit her hard. Because she'd wondered for days why it seemed that she was so attracted to Mark, why she was so willing to believe him, and why she was so eager to get him into bed. In a roundabout, strange way it had just been explained to her. "So I loved him. And he loved me."

"Yes."

"And neither of us could move on from that?"

"No. Because the two of you were meant to be."

"Then what happened?"

"It's not important."

"But it is." CJ insisted. "Fate, right? Some kind of fated thing where one of us died way too early and for no good reason? It would explain why he's so caught up on changing it." CJ met Lucky's eyes. "It keeps happening too, right? Some kind of fate thing."

"It's not important." Lucky repeated. She had grown very serious. "Because it's the past. And it's a past that you and he lived through and it's over. Worry about your present. And your future."

"But…" CJ thought for a moment. "Mark said…he told me…that he has had visions or dreams or something about a kid. Does that mean we had a kid together?"

Lucky shrugged. "Possibly. The two of you were only alive together once. And that was a long time ago." The idea stunned CJ. The thought that she had lived another life – or lives – was hard to digest.

"What good is knowing that now though?"

"Because like I said. I got curious." Lucky smiled again. "This is the first time that one of you has actually _tried_ to stop a fate event. And I don't even know if it can be done."

"So…what? Are we like guinea pigs or something?"

"Not at all." Lucky shook her head. "You used the term cruel earlier. I'm not a cruel person. Just…curious. And believe it or not, I'm on your side. Well. Technically I'm on Mark's side but he's on yours so it boils down to the same thing."

"And you're here, talking to me, because…"

"Because he can't. Or won't. He's broken some rules, but others are sticking with him." Lucky leaned forward. Again, CJ was reminded of a cat. She could not get the mental image out of her head. "He's either all in or not in at all. Do you understand what I mean?"

"Not really." But CJ did not sound convinced of that.

"I believe he's got a shot at changing things. He's afraid if he admits what he feels or goes too far, I'll separate the two of you."

"You want me to push him." CJ said slowly.

"Yes."

"Into breaking more rules?"

"Break them all. He's got free will too." Lucky said that as if the rules held no interest at all to her.

"Why?"

"Do you have any idea what it's like to spend lifetimes watching the same two people make the same mistakes over and over?" Lucky asked rhetorically. "All this…whatever it is…between the two of you. It lost its entertainment potential a long time ago."

"Entertainment?"

"Don't take it personally. I was kidding. But seriously. I'm willing to make a deal."

"What kind of deal?" CJ asked cautiously.

"If the two of you can figure out a way to beat fate, I'll release Mark early from his guardianship. And he'll be here. With you. No harm, no foul. No consequences."

CJ narrowed her eyes. "And?"

"And nothing. If you don't, then you'll keep cycling through lives from now until the end of time."

"You offered this to Mark too didn't you?"

Lucky nodded slowly. "Last night."

"And he said no."

"He said he'd forfeit everything to save you. He wanted me to intervene and then make him pay for it instead. He said he'd deal with whatever trouble came with that decision."

"Did you tell him what you've told me?"

"No. Because I didn't have to. He's already in love with you and he knows it."

CJ bit her lower lip. "So if we do change my fate, if I survive whatever it is that's supposed to happen..."

"Then the two of you will live happily ever after. I'll even throw in a natural life cycle this time around since the two of you keep getting cheated."

"You know what it is, don't you?" CJ asked softly.

Lucky nodded. "But I can't tell you. We can't speak of fate events. It's not safe for anyone involved. If I told you that it would happen next Thursday at one in the morning, then it would happen sooner, and to you, me, Mark, your friends. Repercussions. Do you understand that?"

"Not really." But CJ felt ill. If she cheated in order to cheat fate, she and everyone she cared for would pay. She got it all right. "Ok. I have faith in Mark. He's already pulled my butt out of a few fires. Literally." CJ almost laughed. "I think we'll beat it."

"Believe it or not, I think you will too." Lucky smiled. Again the resemblance between Mark and the strange woman was striking. "I should go. He'll be back soon. Do yourself a favor and don't tell him we talked. He might take it personally."

"He can read my mind."

"Not all of it." Lucky's smile faded. "He won't see that I've been here. Because he can't read me. And I can make it so he can't read _me_ in _you_. Don't try to understand it. It's confusing."

"At least we agree on that."

"Go eat your breakfast. And good luck." Lucky got to her feet. She faded before she stood up all the way. CJ blinked at the empty space the other woman had occupied and blew out a heavy breath. It was way too early in the day to have a headache but her brain was going to prove her wrong. She got up and headed into the house to find some aspirin and something to eat to try to head it off at the pass.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Sorry for the delay. My mini-demon dumped a plate of lasagna on my laptop and fried my keyboard. Which made writing/posting/internet-ing pretty darn hard. Gotta love those kiddos.

12-

After breakfast, which was actually lunch, and a quick trip to the hospital to visit Sam, CJ headed to Jackie's apartment. Other than some scrapes and bruises she was perfectly fine – in fact, she was practically gushing. Leave it to Jackie to develop a mad crush on the EMT who had taken the glass out of her knees and palms.

"It's not a crush." Jackie said. "It's love."

"And tomorrow it will be 'see ya later, dude'."

"Not likely. And his name is Chris."

"Wow. You actually learned his name?" CJ couldn't help but sound sarcastically impressed. "Then it must be love."

"Ha. So jaded." Jackie settled herself against her chair. They were lounging by the pool, soaking up some of the afternoon sun. "He's taking me out to dinner tonight." 

"Well. Here's hoping your luck is better than mine." CJ said with a sigh as she took a drink of the soda she'd brought with her.

"What do you mean?" Jackie looked at her for a moment, over the top of her sunglasses. "I notice you're still hanging out with that Mark guy."

"Yeah." It was funny. Jackie had not noticed that Mark looked different. She knew who he was but it did not seem to register that sometimes he changed how he looked. It seemed to be something that only CJ had noted.

"You must like him. To keep hanging out with him and neither of you making a move."

"I've made moves."

Jackie looked at her, mouth open, in mock shock. "And you were shot down? It really must be serious."

CJ smirked. "Seriously a pain in my ass. Can we talk about something else please?"

"Like what? How I'm going to make ends meet with no job?" Jackie's smile faded. "I realize I could go get another job and be back at work tonight. It's not like I haven't had offers from other bars. But…that was our place, you know?"

"I know." CJ agreed morosely. That had been her next stop but Jackie had saved her the trouble by telling her that the bar was a total loss, and rebuilding would take anywhere from three to five months. It wasn't so horrible from her viewpoint – she had savings, money from her books, plus the money that her grandfather had left her. It wasn't like she'd be hurting by taking the time off. But she'd probably be bored to death. She laughed inwardly. Maybe that was what Mark was supposed to protect her from.

Jackie sighed heavily. "I'm going to give myself a week, get healed up, and then decide what I'm going to do. I can afford that much at least." She brightened immediately. "At least I'll have Chris to distract me."

"Lucky you." CJ said, finishing off her drink. "I'm going to go home."

"Why? Go in and get one of my extra suits, and come be lazy with me."

"I can do that tomorrow. You have a date to get ready for and I have to go home and mope."

"Aw Ceej. I hate to see you down, babe."

"I'm not down. Not really. It's depressing not having a job."

"You technically still have a job." Jackie pointed out with a grin.

"Yeah, yeah. Details." CJ rose to her feet. "Have fun on your date."

"I plan to." Jackie waved her goodbye. CJ tossed her empty soda on the way out of the pool area and went to her car. She was restless, and she hated being restless. Usually she enjoyed her downtime, especially if it meant hanging out with Jackie by the pool but just the thought of it annoyed her that day. She wanted something to do. Anything. She wanted to be occupied.

CJ went back home. And she tried to keep herself busy by cleaning her house even though it hardly needed it. It helped her think.

"What are you doing?"

She was up on a step ladder, changing a light bulb in her kitchen, when Mark's voice from behind her startled her. She jumped and if he hadn't put his hands on her hips, CJ might have slipped off the step.

"I swear – I'm going to put a bell on you." She grouched half-heartedly and looked at him over her shoulder. The ladder put them more or less at eye level. And he still looked as he had the night before, except this time he had his hair braided back from his face. "What did it look like I was doing? Brain surgery?"

"You were concentrating awfully hard." Mark shrugged and smiled.

"I was thinking."

"About?"

"Nothing." It was pretty much true. She'd just been clearing her mind really. "Where did you disappear to?"

"Had some things to take care of."

"Oh." CJ finished screwing in the new light bulb and tossed the old one. She turned on the ladder and raised an eyebrow. He still had his hands on her hips. She looked at him. "And did you get it all taken care of?"

"Sure." He made no move to let her go or get out of her way. CJ eyed him curiously.

"Is everything all right?" She finally asked.

"Yeah. Fine."

"Are you sure?" He didn't seem to be in a hurry to elaborate.

Mark smiled again. "Yeah." He moved a step closer.

"Did you get hit on the head or something?" CJ asked, feeling a little breathless at the look he was giving her.

"No. Just…got a weird feeling, that's all."

"Weird? Weird how?"

"I don't know." He looked confused for a moment. Then he started to move back. CJ put her hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes, holding him there.

"Weird how?" She asked again.

Mark sighed. "I don't know." He repeated. "Déjà vu maybe. Like I've done this before. Actually I've had that feeling a few times in the past couple of days."

CJ studied him, not speaking, for several long minutes. She tried to picture it – knowing him before – and couldn't do it. Maybe people just weren't meant to remember past lives. Or loves. It was sad really. But obviously something remained between them because they were still somehow connected. She idly ran her fingers along his cheek and over his ear, tracing it.

She wondered if maybe it was just the power of suggestion or if she honestly did have that same feeling, that this was something she had done before. Not just once but numerous times. To the tune of it being somewhat ritualistic. He might claim to be in love with her but for CJ the feeling was more physical than emotional. She was drawn to him in a way she hadn't been drawn to anyone else before. And it was, as far as she could tell, almost completely sexual. Almost. She did like him – maybe because he seemed so serious, maybe in spite of it.

"You're doing it again." Mark pointed out, keeping his voice low.

"Doing what?" CJ asked, letting her fingers slide down the skin of his neck.

"Asking for trouble."

"What if I stop asking and start demanding it?" CJ asked, smiling a little. She also swayed forward, just enough so that she was leaning against him, closing the gap between them.

"Then we're both in trouble."

"I sense the crumbling of carefully constructed defenses." CJ said, wrapping her hand around his braid and tugging his hair lightly, playfully. But her eyes were serious now.

"I don't know how much longer they'll hold up." Mark admitted.

"Take me upstairs, and we can answer that one right now."

"CJ…"

"You're going to tell me you can't. Then I'm going to tell you that you _can_. And then I'll get aggravated and…ugh. Let's just skip all of that. I don't want to be aggravated." CJ let his braid slip out of her hand and stroked the back of his neck instead. "I want to be with you."

"You already know that I want to be with you." Mark pointed out.

"Then stop stalling." CJ squeezed the back of his neck lightly. "Or…here's an idea. Let's just go make out for a while. We can always stop before we get _too_ carried away."

Mark chuckled at that. "I don't think stopping will be an option once I start."

"Even better." CJ leaned closer and kissed him lightly on the corner of his mouth.

"But…"

"Oh come on. How many times are we going to go through this?" CJ said, talking right over him. "If the bathroom is off limits then maybe I should just take you into the shower. " She said it in a soft voice, almost talking to herself. Mark snorted a laugh.

"I want you in the bed." He said, growing serious. He was looking at her with his green eyes darkened and talking in a husky voice. CJ was lucky she managed to keep her balance on the step ladder. "I've had…fantasies." He finally admitted.

"Oh really?" CJ smiled and stroked his neck. "Want to share?"

"No. I want to show you." He heaved a sigh and stepped back, holding on to her long enough so she could step off the ladder.

"But you won't?"

"I can't."

"That's so annoying." CJ brushed her hair back from her face. "You do realize that if I wanted to I could go out and basically have my pick of possible one-night stands right?"

Mark nodded and although he tried to keep his expression neutral CJ could see that the thought did not sit well with him.

"You should probably keep that in mind." CJ poked his chest and picked up her step ladder so she could put it away. The afternoon had started off with potential but he'd still kept himself distanced. She was starting to wonder if there would be a way to get him drunk so he'd drop his defenses the rest of the way.

"You won't do it." Mark said after a few moments had passed in silence.

"I won't?" CJ stowed the ladder in the small pantry off the kitchen and turned back to see he was looking at her, completely serious.

"No." But he didn't sound sure. Actually he sounded pretty insecure for a guy who had just turned her down yet again.

"Well. Maybe I'll surprise us both." She shut the pantry door and left the kitchen, heading out onto the back porch. CJ had no idea why she was annoyed, really. She knew he would hold himself back – hadn't she said as much? But this time he'd been the one to start it. It irked her. She liked to play, and be played with, but not like this. She couldn't explain the difference even to herself.

When she finally went back into the house, Mark had disappeared again. CJ found she was not surprised in the least. She figured it was just a guy thing – she was obviously upset, therefore the guy should run and hide until she got over it. Typical.

She wasn't hungry, and it was too early for bed. A long night of nothing stretched out ahead of her. It was depressing. She climbed the stairs and took a cool shower, just to give herself something to do. She certainly _could_ go out, maybe have a few drinks. But even that sounded like a chore to her at this point. She dried her hair and stood there for a few minutes, mulling things over before going into her bedroom to get dressed.

CJ didn't doubt she'd be horrible company for anybody at the moment, but the thought of sitting home alone made her want to scream. Normally she liked being by herself. It was why she'd never let someone like Adam move in with her no matter how much he had pressured her, or tried to sneak things in past her. She'd always been something of a loner. But the fact was that before Mark had shown up, she would have just gone out and done something. Maybe with someone, maybe just out to be out. But something. And she wasn't going to change that just because he had pulled his hurt boyfriend face on her.

Under normal circumstances she'd call on Jackie to accompany her, but Jackie was on a date. So CJ grabbed her keys and the small wallet she normally carried and headed for her car. It was too hot to ride with the windows down so she cranked the air conditioning and cruised around for a while, listening to the radio with no real destination in mind.

So it made sense she ended up in the middle of nowhere. Literally. She and Jackie had been there before, a small bar that straddled the county line. The place was actually called 'Middle of Nowhere', a joke that every single person CJ knew found funny. Oddly enough, the place was a classier version of a biker bar with a dozen pool tables and nothing to drink but beer. The music was all right, and they kept it turned down because mostly the people who stopped there went to have conversations not dance like drunken idiots.

It seemed she wasn't the only person who was out looking for something to do. The place was more packed than usual and CJ recognized quite a few regulars from her own bar. Which made for a pleasant night. She had a couple of beers, shot a few games of pool, and tried to relax and unwind. She even danced a couple of times – any time there was music and alcohol of course there was some dancing. She backed off when they got a little too touchy with her though. It still irked her that apparently some guy who supposedly loved her couldn't see fit to break his own sacred rules yet she could have had just about any single guy in the packed bar – and maybe even a few of the taken ones. Possibly even some of the women.

Any other night and she might have been tempted. But her mind kept going back. Mostly she kept thinking about how he had hesitated before claiming she wouldn't be able to make good on her threat of finding someone else to sleep with. He was supposed to know her so well – why was he suddenly having trouble?

And why did she care? CJ forced herself to stop thinking about Mark, the situation, and the frustration she felt building up inside her. She might not be as adventurous as Jackie but CJ wasn't a blushing virgin. When she got an itch, she wanted it scratched. Up to that point it had seemed more than natural. And she knew something was really wrong when she shot down not one but two guys who would have normally flipped all her switches – tall, good looking, broad shouldered. It was shallow but she wasn't looking for a commitment for heaven's sake – just someone she wouldn't regret sleeping with when morning rolled around.

And she wasn't even interested in that. Just to prove it, she was out in the parking lot preparing to leave when the second guy, whose name she had forgotten, backed her against her car and kissed her. Normally CJ would have enjoyed it. It wasn't horrible. But it wasn't good either. She just couldn't put her heart in to it and worse – she couldn't get her libido into it either. She might as well have been kissing a side of beef. The guy didn't push, which was good, because CJ would have felt worse by shooting him down when that was the reason she was out looking for company in the first place.

By the time she got home, her head was pounding. All she wanted was another shower – to get the smell of cigarette smoke out of her hair mostly – and something to eat. Then bed and about ten hours of uninterrupted, deep sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

13-

After a shower and wrapping herself up in her robe, CJ made herself some popcorn, grabbed a soda, and went to the living room to watch a movie. She wasn't hungry enough to cook something substantial. She settled on a horror flick she'd already seen, that way she wouldn't have to invest too much of her attention to it. She was tired but not sleepy. That was just her luck.

"What are you watching?"

The movie was half over when Mark spoke from behind her. CJ had pretty much been expecting it. "Just some movie."

"Oh." Mark sat down on the other end of the couch. "I thought you would be out with somebody else."

CJ frowned. "I never said I was going to. I said I _could_. And I don't think I'd be doing anybody any favors by forcing my company on them right now. I'm depressed."

"I'm sorry." And he did sound sorry. Sorry but somehow relieved at the same time. CJ shrugged and crunched more popcorn, not saying anything else.

Mark kept his quiet as well. CJ was well aware of the looks he was giving her. She pointedly ignored it though because there was no sense in responding if he had no intention of doing anything about it.

The movie finally ended. Another one began. CJ managed to sit through half of it before giving up. She set her popcorn aside. "I'm going to bed."

"Ok." Mark sounded confused and watched her as she headed for the stairs.

CJ brushed her teeth and braided her hair before going into her bedroom. And there of course was Mark again. She turned off the light and shrugged out of her robe, once more sleeping in the nude. At least she'd been nice enough to shut off the light before stripping. With a sigh she crawled into bed and pulled her blanket up so she was covered. She felt the bed shift with his weight as he sat down in his usual spot.

"This would change everything." Mark finally said.

CJ frowned. "What?"

"You. And me. Being together. There wouldn't be any going back."

CJ said nothing. She had no idea what it was exactly he wanted her to say. Other than a resounding 'duh' maybe. She was tired of the circular argument. Being quiet was her way of opting out. It wasn't totally dark – she could see him sitting there looking down at her. She pretty much gave up on him doing or saying anything else. He seemed unable to.

CJ closed her eyes resolutely and felt the bed shift. She also felt her blankets move. And then he was up against her, as naked as she was. She blinked her eyes open in surprise. "What are you…"

He didn't give her a chance to finish her question. Mark covered her mouth with his. CJ was beyond shocked. And part of her still held back because he had pulled away so many times that she could not actually believe it fully, that this was happening.

Mark tilted his head, angling his mouth across hers, and flicked his tongue out to touch her lower lip. CJ could not help but respond to it. She still didn't know what exactly it was about him but damned if he didn't set a ton of butterflies off in her stomach. But there was that odd certainty that this had happened before, and it made for a dizzying combination.

Mark finally pulled back and looked down at her. "You were right."

"Of course I was." CJ agreed. "Right about what?"

"Right about me being in trouble either way." Mark shrugged. "I thought about it. And maybe it's selfish on my part. Or maybe I've twisted it in my head to suit what I want."

"What we both want." CJ corrected him.

"You make it hard to keep saying no."

"I can make it harder." CJ said.

Mark snorted a laugh. It turned into a choked groan when she shifted and slid against him.

"Is something wrong?" CJ asked, when several minutes passed without him making another move.

"No." But he was frowning. It was dark but not dark enough to hide his expression.

"Obviously something."

"Just that feeling again. That I've done this before."

"I certainly hope so." CJ said with a smirk.

"Ha. Yeah. You know what I mean." He dipped his head, his lips brushing hers lightly. "It's strong. Whatever it is."

"It's a sign. Shut up and do something."

"And then you say something and it completely breaks the feeling." Mark said with a snort.

"Is that your nice way of telling _me_ to shut up and do something?" She asked, smirking.

"Or just do something. I kinda like it when you talk."

"Huh. You like it when I talk…how…exactly?" She asked. "Because I am pretty sure you told me that you considered the bedroom off limits."

Mark shrugged, smiling a little. "I didn't necessarily mean dirty talk. I meant talk in general. But if you're into that kinda thing…"

"I might be. As long as I'm properly motivated." She knew exactly what he meant – again – by that feeling of having done this before. It was new but not new. She pushed the thoughts aside and reached up to wrap her arms around his shoulders. "And I sort of tried. You know. When I went out. I let some guy kiss me in the parking lot."

"I know." Mark settled himself more comfortably on top of her, closing his eyes at the feel of her bare skin against his. "I saw."

"You saw, huh?"

"Yeah." He opened his eyes and looked down at her. "Didn't like it."

"To be perfectly honest, I didn't much like it either." CJ said with a sigh.

"And I don't like it when you're mad at me."

"I wasn't mad. Not really."

"Upset."

"Eh."

"I made you sad. And I'm sorry." Mark brushed loose hair back from her face. "You were right about something else too. It is your life. You can do with it what you want. Free will. I can stop now." He smirked. "It might just about kill me but I can. I don't want to though. I don't care what happens to me. I told you that. But…"

"Oh. Stop with the fate stuff." It didn't come out as annoyed as it should have. CJ sighed. "Let me worry about that. It's mine to screw up or survive."

"I know."

"Then let go." CJ said softly.

"I don't think I know how."

She smiled sadly and cupped his face in her hands. "For starters you can kiss me. And we'll see where it goes from there."

It was everything the kiss from earlier hadn't been. CJ let herself go, holding on to Mark and parting her lips for his tongue. She still could not describe it, even to herself, exactly how it felt, how he tasted. The only word that would come to mind was _right_. It might have only been the power of suggestion but CJ doubted it. No mere suggestion could make her feel the way she did as Mark pressed closer to her and sealed his mouth against hers. CJ met his tongue with hers and whimpered into his mouth when he pressed his hips tighter against her, letting her feel the effect she was having on him.

She closed her eyes and let her fingertips lightly trace his cheeks, his jaw, his neck. When he broke the kiss to catch his breath, CJ was lightly running her fingers up and down his back, his shoulders. Feeling all of that warm, smooth skin. "So…" She tried to talk but her voice had gone all husky. "I seem to remember you saying something about fantasies."

Mark chuckled and ducked his head, nuzzling her neck. "You share yours, I'll share mine?" He asked it hopefully. And he sounded mildly embarrassed. CJ would have bet money he was blushing.

"Currently my only fantasy is wondering what you'll feel like inside me." She said bluntly.

Mark had been in the process of sucking lightly on her neck. He apparently hadn't seen that coming because he snickered against her skin. When he grew serious again he went back to kissing along the column of her throat. "Believe it or not…" He paused and slid his hand up her side until he was cupping her breast in his palm, his hand barely grazing her. "This is how it always starts. Just…lying with you. Feeling you."

CJ sighed as his fingers stroked lightly across her nipple, sending a pleasant shiver through her body. He slowly applied pressure, squeezing her gently. He shifted, sliding down her body, until he was nuzzling the skin between her breasts, his breath hot against her skin. His fingers caught her nipple and squeezed, making her moan low in her throat as his mouth closed over the second nipple and his tongue flicked out against the sensitive tip.

CJ tried to relax and enjoy the attention but a small part of her still hesitated, expecting him to pull back and put a stop to things. He showed no sign of stopping though as his mouth moved to the other breast. CJ stroked her hand over his head, until her fingers brushed the band that held his braid. She tugged it and loosened his braid, letting his hair hang free. She buried her hands in it, tugging gently, making him grunt in response.

"You know…" She had to stop and clear her throat because her voice was so husky. He tongued her nipple again and she had to really struggle to keep her train of thought. "I never much cared for long hair on a guy. On you it looks good though."

She felt him smile against her. He made a low noise but didn't actually speak. Instead he slid a little further down her body, his mouth trailing hot kisses along her stomach, her hip. She jumped when his goatee brushed her ticklish spots but he held her still. CJ let go of his hair so he could continue his slow, methodical exploration of her body with his mouth and tongue, his hands. There wasn't a spot that his fingers did not stroke, touch, or kiss.

It wasn't until his fingers found her slick center that CJ finally let herself go. The feel of his hands on her, his fingers stroking her clit, and then his tongue was nearly enough to put her over the edge. He parted her folds and pressed his mouth against her, sucking on her clit before soothing his tongue against it, making her whimper at the sensations that flooded her body.

CJ reached down and tangled her fingers into his hair again, moaning every time his tongue swiped at her sensitive skin, gasping in a breath when he grazed her with his teeth. He did it again, making a soft noise when she bucked up against his mouth. Mark gently pushed at her legs, spreading her thighs further apart so he could dip his head and probe her entrance with his tongue. CJ took that torture for as long as she could; Mark seemed to sense when she was nearing the edge and he would slow down, or pull back. Just enough to have her squirming on the bed under his hands and mouth.

"Oh….how many times…are you gonna do that?" CJ finally managed to ask between moans after the third time. Mark nipped the skin of her thigh, smiling.

"Until I get tired of it." His voice was a deep rumble. But he did lift himself and move slowly up her body, dropping kisses along the way, stopping to cup her breasts again and circle one hard nipple with his tongue. CJ whimpered again when he pressed his hips down. She could feel the hot hard length of him against her leg and she wanted it, wanted him so badly that she could hardly think straight.

Mark finally stretched out on top of her again, his legs between hers. CJ closed her eyes at the feel of his hard flesh rubbing against her and wrapped her legs around his waist to hold him there. He looked down at her for a moment before he ducked his head and caught her mouth with his, kissing her deeply, until neither of them could catch their breath. When he finally broke the kiss he hugged her closer, breathing against her neck.

CJ turned her head and playfully bit him on the earlobe. "I want you inside me." She said it softly and felt the way his body responded to her words.

"I just…don't want to rush." He finally said, pressing himself more firmly against her. CJ whimpered again.

"I'm on the edge here. Push me over or pull me back." She wrapped her hand around his hair and tugged again. "And we have all night. Unless you've made plans or something, we can do this as many times as you want."

Mark chuckled and shook his head. But he did what she wanted. CJ understood that he was pretty much at her mercy. It made her feel strange. She'd never had that kind of power over another person, and she wasn't sure how it made her feel.

He reached between them, shifted, and probed at her entrance with the head of his cock. CJ moaned softly as he pressed his hips forward, entering her slowly. And she knew, power over him or not, that there would be no rushing him through this part. He wanted to savor it. She let him. She did it herself. It felt too good to want to change it anyway. Apparently he thought so too because his breath against her neck sped up as he slowly shifted, withdrawing a little before pressing into her again.

"You are…" He pressed a kiss against the skin under her ear. "Everything I thought you would be."

CJ could only moan as he pressed into her more forcefully. He found his rhythm, keeping it slow and steady, thrusting deep into her willing body, withdrawing almost completely, doing it again and again until it was all she could do to hold on to him. He angled his hips and slid a hand between their bodies so his fingers could stroke her clit in time with his methodical thrusting, bring CJ back to the edge. Instead of teasing her, pulling back, making her wait, Mark increased his pace until she climaxed with a wordless cry and her nails dug into the skin of his back at the power of it.

He didn't give her time to come down. Instead he increased his pace even more and withdrew his hand. CJ moaned and tried to meet his thrusting but she was oversensitive, her body was trying to dodge the stimulation. Mark either caught that thought or sensed it – he pushed his upper body away from her so that their only point of contact was where they were joined. It set off a whole new range of sensation for CJ and she used her legs, still wrapped around his waist, to give her leverage. She moved against him, breathing harder, feeling the familiar heat gathering inside her once more. It was rare for her to climax twice but she wasn't going to complain if it happened.

She felt him straining over her, felt the way he held himself in check. "I'm not going to be able to hold it back much longer…" Mark moaned out as her nails raked him lightly.

"Then don't." CJ whispered it back. She reached between them and this time she stimulated herself in time with his erratic thrusting, the sound of their intermingled moans the only noise as they concentrated on the sensations. CJ went rigid under him, moans reaching a higher pitch as he groaned and shuddered with the power of his release. He slowly eased back down until he was lying on top of her, holding his weight on his elbows but still pressed against her. CJ held him and stroked his back, damn near purring in satisfaction. He kissed her slowly, thoroughly, before pulling back to look down at her.

"I love you, CJ." He raised a hand and traced his finger along her cheek.

It brought up a mixed bag of feeling for her. It was nice to hear of course. But sad that she couldn't say she felt the same. Well. She could but it would just be reflex. And that was worse, in her estimation, than not hearing it at all. "I know." She whispered it softly. "I wish…"

"It's all right. I just wanted to say it." He pushed his hair back from his face. "I don't expect you to say it back. But…I can't stop myself from letting you know."

"I get it." CJ smiled a little. "It's fine. I just don't want you to think I'm ignoring it or…"

"I know you're not." He lowered his head until his lips were brushing hers. "I can still hear you, you know."

"Oh. Good. Saves me the effort of explaining."

Mark made a low noise at that. He also shifted, rolling until he was on the bottom and CJ was stretched out on top of him. She sighed in contentment, sleepy, tracing his chest with her fingers. She felt him stir against her leg and smiled. She had promised him the whole night. She supposed she had better wake up and be prepared to make good on it.


	14. Chapter 14

14-

CJ stretched and groaned, for the moment hating that the sun came right in her bedroom window – and basically baked her any time she slept later than nine in the morning.

She hadn't gotten much sleep, but she wasn't as tired as she thought she'd be. Mark didn't need to sleep; apparently he didn't need much of a rest between sexual releases either. CJ had kept up with him until her body had started to feel like a wrung out sponge. She'd never experienced anything like it before in her entire life. And she'd thought some of her college experiences were pushing her limits.

She was not going to complain though. Eventually Mark had let her sleep. He'd even stayed in the bed with her until she was out. But she woke up alone and couldn't help but wonder if maybe he had disappeared again, either by choice or by demand. She slowly got up, stretched again, and went to take a shower. She felt marginally human again. But she was definitely hungry. She got dressed and pulled her hair up into a ponytail before heading downstairs to the kitchen.

CJ happened to glance out the windows in the living room and saw that Mark was sitting on the front porch in the swing. He had his eyes closed and if she hadn't known better she would have thought he was dozing. He must have heard that because he turned his head toward her and smiled. CJ smirked and went into the kitchen to put together breakfast. Fifteen minutes later she was eating and Mark was still on the front porch. When she finished she cleaned up before going outside to satisfy her curiosity.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Phone call." Mark said softly. CJ raised an eyebrow. There wasn't a telephone in either of his hands.

"O…k."

"Telepathic version?" He made it a question. His eyes were still closed too.

"Am I distracting you?" CJ asked with a grin.

"Nope. I can multitask."

"Ok. Good."

"Where are you going?" Mark asked when she turned to leave.

"Hawaii. To go work on my book for a while, where else would I be going?" CJ said it over her shoulder as she went in the front door. For the first time in a few days she actually felt like writing. It wouldn't take much effort – she was pretty sure anything more physical than sitting at her computer would probably kill her.

She worked on it for nearly two hours, until the phone rang and pulled her back to reality. CJ rubbed her neck and answered it. "Yeah?"

"Uh oh. You musta been working." Jackie chirped happily into her ear.

"Musta been. What are you doing up and about so early in the day? Didn't you have a date last night?"

"Yes I did. As a matter of fact, he's still sleeping."

"Worked the old Jackie charm and had your way with him, huh?"

"No. As a matter of fact – we stayed up until almost five this morning just talking. It was _weird_."

"Then it must truly be love if you kept your clothes on."

"That's what I figured!" Jackie laughed. "At any rate, I just got off the phone with Kyle." Kyle was the man who owned the bar that had burned down the night before. "As soon as the fire inspectors have their go through he said they're gonna rebuild. In the meantime he said if we wanted to work, he's got three other bars in the area that he could move us to."

"Oh. Well I hadn't really given it any thought." And that was the truth. She'd been pretty darn occupied.

"You should. Want to go with met to check the out?"

"What, you want to trawl bars in the middle of the day?" CJ laughed.

"Work research. Ceej, I realize that my career goals are lame compared to some other people, but I _like_ being a waitress. And I'm damned good at it."

"Yes, I know that you are. When do you wanna go?"

"I'm ready when you are."

"All right. I'll swing by, pick you up. We'll go check it out." They said their goodbyes and hung up. CJ sat for a moment, saving her work before getting up and stretching. She headed downstairs and saw that Mark was still sitting on the front porch, although he had his eyes open now. "Hey. I'm leaving."

"I heard." Mark said with a lazy half-smile.

"I shouldn't be gone too long."

"That's fine. I have some things I could do while you're busy." Mark was studying her. "You don't want to find another place to work though."

"Nope. Not really." CJ made a face. "But I'll humor Jackie. And help her make a decent decision."

"Good." Mark smiled again and got to his feet. "I won't be too long myself." He reached out and took her hand, pulling her close so he could kiss her. CJ almost forgot about going out with Jackie. Until she remembered she was still pretty worn out from the night before and needed at least a little time before she did anything like that again.

She pulled back and smiled, watching as Mark faded out. That was a neat trick, one she would probably never get used to seeing. She gathered her things and headed out, the smile still on her face. It lasted most of the afternoon too, even when faced with Jackie's prying. They visited all three bars, and CJ noted that a few of the other employees were already signed up and ready to work. Jackie was being very un-Jackie-like. She actually wanted to sit down and weigh the pros and cons of each place before picking one.

They stopped for a drink at one of the town's small restaurants. Jackie actually pulled out a pad and a pen and was weighing her options while CJ sipped her soda and watched in amusement.

"So did this new guy drug you last night and you don't remember?" CJ finally asked.

Jackie shook her head. "No. But he had a good point. I really do need to start getting serious. I'm not a kid anymore. And losing our bar…well. It puts me in a bind. I shouldn't be blowing all my money all the time, I should be setting at least some of it aside."

"So it's finally happened. You've been taken over by a pod person." CJ smiled sweetly at Jackie's snort of laughter. "You are a survivor. You'd bounce back from anything. And if you want job security maybe you should consider an actual career beyond waitressing."

"But it's what I love." Jackie shrugged. "I know, I'm not getting any younger. So I have to strike now and make as much money as I can. That way when my looks start to go I can have some wiggle room."

CJ rolled her eyes but she was still amused. And she figured that Jackie was just distracted enough to maybe act as a good sounding board.

"Can I ask you something?" CJ began.

"Sure." Jackie scribbled in her notebook and grinned. "Researching for your new book?"

"Yeah. Do you believe in fate?"

"What…like something is meant to be?" Jackie shrugged. "Sure. I guess. I mean – something has to explain all the random things that happen, right?"

"So let's say that you find out that something is fated to happen to you. And not a good thing. Would you try to change it?"

"Um…I don't know. Probably?" Jackie sounded unsure. "If it's something small why bother?"

"What if you knew you were going to die?"

Jackie looked up at her for a moment. "What kind of book are you writing?"

CJ smirked. "The kind where nudity happens around chapter 10 and every other chapter after that. But mostly it's about someone trying to change her fate."

"For a minute it sounded almost serious." Jackie laughed. "If I knew ahead of time I was going to die and it was like…unfair…then yeah. I'd try to change it."

"Unfair?"

"Oh like getting hit by a drunk driver, or one of those freak accidents you hear about where people have bridges collapse under them. Stuff like that. If I saw I was going to die from some disease in my sixties, then I'd probably let nature run its course."

"Ok. But how would you change it? What if you knew that something was _going _to happen but not what. Like…you had some kind of vision or whatever that you were going to be killed by an ax welding maniac."

"I'd stop fucking around with lumberjacks."

"Ha. I wasn't aware you knew any."

Jackie grinned. "You'd be surprised." She tapped her pen thoughtfully on her paper. "I guess the way I would change it would be to change whoever is in it."

CJ frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…if I had some kind of vision that I was gonna die in a car crash while driving home from work by myself, then I'd start driving a different route. Or I'd start making somebody ride with me all the time."

CJ raised an eyebrow. "Wouldn't that be putting the other person at risk?"

"How? You don't know it's their fate to die. And if it isn't their fate to die, then it at least gives you a fighting chance of beating it right?" Jackie shrugged. "This is the kind of thing we need to talk about when I'm drunk."

"I'll bring it up next time we go out." CJ said with a laugh. "If I use it you'll get credit. Just so you know."

"Credit and profit sharing, if you don't mind." Jackie corrected.

CJ smiled and sipped her soda, thinking. Jackie actually made a pretty good point. If she could figure out what this big fate event was, then maybe she could change it by adding someone else into the equation. It would help if Mark could find out more information. Or if he'd share what he really knew. She had a feeling he was still holding back, maybe to protect her.

It was nice of him but not necessary. If she hoped to beat this thing then she had to know everything that he did. She dropped Jackie off at home to ponder her options and headed to her own house. Mark wasn't back yet – the place was way too quiet. She turned on the TV for background noise and went to the kitchen to start dinner. It was fifteen minutes later that she realized she was no longer alone. Mark wasn't in the kitchen. Instead he was in the living room, standing with his gaze fixed on the television.

He was different. Again. Back to the short black hair. "Hey. What are you doing?" CJ asked, moving to stand beside him. Mark glanced at her before looking back to the TV.

The news was still on. They were talking about another house fire that had happened the night before. CJ didn't know why Mark was interested. After what had happened the other night she'd had enough of fires to last her a good long time.

"I think this is it." He finally said, his voice flat.

"What?"

Mark gestured at the TV. "Fate. Death."

CJ frowned and made herself pay attention. As far as the authorities were saying, the house had caught fire because of faulty wiring. There had been three people inside. Two had gotten out. The third had succumbed presumably to smoke inhalation. Police and the fire department were still investigating.

"I don't get…" CJ trailed off before she could finish the thought. Because they finally showed a picture of the victim and this time even she could see the resemblance to herself. "Holy shit."

"Trent. Where is that?" Mark asked, reaching over to take her hand.

"Uh…I don't know. About an hour or so away?" CJ frowned, thinking it over. "No. Two. It's almost on the state line." She looked up at him. "There was another one."

"Like this?"

"Kinda." She thought it over, trying to remember. "I forgot all about it. But…something about a home invasion that they tried to cover up with a fire. Sam said the girl in the picture looked like me too."

"Where? When?"

"The other night. I don't know where, I didn't catch that part. I could look it up I guess." Although she didn't really want to. Because that would somehow make it more real.

"We'll need to look it up. And go digging for more. He'll have a pattern. We'll have to figure it out if we want to beat it." Mark finally looked down at her. CJ nodded slowly. She had hoped to get more information out of him. Looked like that was going to be way easier than she'd thought.


	15. Chapter 15

15-

CJ leaned back and rubbed her eyes. She'd spent two hours reading through news articles – although most of them were short to the point of being worthless. There was no shortage of house fires. She narrowed it down to the region, then the state. Then she included single female fatalities. And they'd finally hit pay dirt.

There were six in her state, each within a few days of the next. Foul play was suspected I only two of them but Mark refused to rule them out. Especially after he noticed that every victim shared CJ's dark hair and blue eyes. Age-wise she fell right in the middle of the spectrum.

"It's like he's moving in a circle." Mark observed. He'd had CJ print out a state map so he'd have something physical to look at.

"Or a spiral." CJ pointed out. Mark studied the map and nodded.

"That means it's going to hard to figure out where he's going next. Although we know where he'll end up."

"I'll be damned if some firebug is going to burn down my house." CJ said with a frown.

"Bigger picture, CJ. _I'll _be damned if some firebug burns down your house with _you_ in it."

"Semantics." CJ said with a shrug.

Mark ignored her foray into sarcasm. "We might have a week at most. If he sticks to his pattern. If he escalates it might be sooner."

"Yay. Can we stop looking at death and destruction now?"

"You can't just brush this under a rug."

"I'm not. It's freaking me out a little." CJ hesitated. "What if I got Jackie to come stay here? He only kills one woman. If we add somebody else to it…"

"It wouldn't work." Mark said after mulling it over. "That fire on the news tonight said the other two women got out alive."

"Well shit."

"Good idea though." Mark said with a sigh. "Free will works in crazy ways. You went back into a burning bar for your friend but it doesn't mean she'd do the same for you."

CJ wanted to argue but how could she? Who knew how a person would react before it happened? "She tried to help Sam." She finally managed to say.

"Because she was already right there with him." Mark shrugged. "I'm not saying she wouldn't. I'm saying you can't count on anyone acting the way you would." He rested his hands on her shoulders and rubbed lightly.

"Including you?" CJ asked, goading him just a little bit.

"I have nothing to lose. Remember?" She didn't have to look to know he was smiling when he said it.

"That's me. A big pile of nothing."

Mark pulled her hair playfully. "You are hardly nothing. You are everything."

"That's damn near mushy."

"But true. To me, you are."

Uh oh. Mark had gotten very serious on her. It made CJ want to squirm. "Please don't put that kind of pressure on me." She finally said.

"What kind of pressure do you want me to put on you?" He asked, still serious. CJ looked up at him over her shoulder and saw that half-smile. She had to smile back.

"Was last night not enough?"

"Not hardly."

"Geez. First I can't get you _in_ my bed, now I can't get you out of it."

"You act like you need a distraction." Mark slid his fingers up her neck. "How about a massage?"

"What about your research?"

"It'll keep. I need to think it over."

"And you can multi-task?" She repeated his claim from earlier.

"Not when I'm focused on you."

"You are being so smooth." CJ said with a smirk.

"Is it working?"

"Definitely." CJ sighed as his fingers slid against the back of her neck "Ok. I'm sold. Take me to bed and rub me down." It was early but that was all right. She didn't have any kind of pressing plans anyway. Plus he was right. The distraction would be kind of nice. She didn't want to think about some random guy breaking in to her house, and burning it down with or without her inside it.

~~!~~

The next victim happened two days later.

The only reason CJ heard about it was because she just happened to be grocery shopping and was bored waiting in line. So she was reading newspaper headlines and wishing people would hurry up.

There had been nothing on TV about it. Of course there were other news stories that the TV people probably thought were more pressing. She picked up one of the newspapers and added it to her groceries for Mark to look at.

She smiled to herself. All things considered at least that was going well. She couldn't help but worry though. He put so much consideration into changing her fate that he had not really given any thought to what would come afterward. What if they did manage to change things and CJ lived? She had tried to hint around the subject but Mark had not wanted to think too far ahead. He needed to focus on the current problem.

CJ thought that what came next _was_ a current problem. That Lucky woman had said she'd basically let Mark go from being a guardian, which was all nice and everything but what exactly did it mean to either of them? She liked the guy, but she still didn't really know him. It was confusing.

When she got back to the house Mark was sitting on the front porch. For some reason, he had decided that he liked it there. Far be it from her to point out that the front porch held the heat of the day unlike the back where it was shaded a bit better. He smiled at her and accepted the newspaper without a word spoken between them. He could still read her, which was just as well. It saved her from having to talk about stuff yet again.

She was putting her groceries away when Mark came into the kitchen. He had apparently seen the article. "He's picking up steam." Mark observed as he took a seat at the table.

"A day sooner. Maybe it was just an opportunity he couldn't let go by."

Mark shrugged. "Could be. But he's a planner."

"Then he's getting sloppy? Or maybe this one was just a random fire."

Mark sighed. "Maybe. But I'd rather not take the chance of assuming that it was."

CJ said nothing to that; she just continued to put her groceries away. Mark went back to reading the paper. She turned to look at him. At some point he'd changed again. The long hair was back, although it was still black. He was also sporting a full beard. CJ thought it gave him even more of a rough edge. Which was pretty damned sexy, in her honest opinion.

He'd obviously caught that thought because he glanced at her and winked. CJ smirked and finished putting her things away. It was early afternoon. The evening – and entire weekend – stretched out in front of CJ. This was why she really liked to work at the bar. It made her appreciate the time when she could sit at home and do nothing.

"Maybe I should just become a hermit, and not go out and risk meeting anybody." CJ observed, leaning against the counter with her arms crossed. "Didn't you say before that he had to meet his victims first?"

"That's usually how it goes." Mark said, still looking at his paper. "It's how he makes sure he's finding victims that fit his pattern."

"But you said this just broke the pattern." CJ gestured at the paper.

"No. It breaks his timeline. If it's him." Mark finally looked up. "It doesn't break the pattern. Of course we'd know for sure if there was a picture of the woman." He rattled the paper.

"I could look it up." CJ had seen the woman's name in the paper. It wouldn't be too difficult to find something out about her online.

"Later." Mark waved it off.

"You are getting practically sedate about this stuff."

"No. Not really." He sighed. "But even if it's not our guy that did this one, then he's due either tonight or tomorrow. We'll find out for sure one way or the other." He hesitated for a moment. "Besides that, I was giving what you said some thought. About bringing someone else into it."

CJ nodded. She had told him about her conversation with Jackie and he had been intrigued but dismissive. If they could control the reaction of someone else then they'd have a good shot at beating this thing. But they couldn't rely on the actions of others.

"I thought you said it wouldn't work."

"It wouldn't." But he was frowning thoughtfully when he said it. Mark pushed the newspaper aside and walked up to CJ, crowding her until she was leaning back on the counter with her hands on either side of her for leverage. "At least not in the way we've been thinking."

"Then what way would it work?" CJ asked smiling as he pressed up against her.

"Let me worry about that." Mark bent and kissed her lips. "If I figure it out, you'll be the first to know."

CJ nodded, her eyes closing at the feel of his hands sliding up her sides, under her shirt. The new had definitely not worn off of their relationship. She was starting to feel a bit spoiled; she supposed that was one of the effects of the whole one-sided feelings thing. Not that she didn't care about Mark. In fact the more she was around him the more she was sure that there was _something _between them and she just hadn't figured it out yet.

So far there had been no consequences. And CJ did not have to be a mind reader to know that it bothered Mark. Not that he would say it right out loud. She could tell that it ate at him though.

For now she was content enough to enjoy all of his attention. She was more than happy to oblige him his urges. He made it good for both of them. Good. She would have laughed. Maybe it was the fact that he knew her so well but he managed to push all of her buttons without breaking a sweat. Amazing would have probably been a better way of describing it. Plus it was quite an ego boost that he could not seem to get enough of her. CJ could not remember a time _ever_ when it had been her job to put a halt to things because she was too tired or too drained or just too damned _done_ to keep going. And it still didn't seem to be enough.

Lucky for her she was resilient. And he was patient. If she said no, he would back down. It wasn't like he was forcing her. But he could get her to respond without half trying. CJ thought it should have scared her, but it didn't. She enjoyed it, enjoyed the animalistic side of things that had developed. Mostly because she'd never experienced anything quite like it.

Later that night, CJ felt it when Mark slipped away from her. She knew that he did it of course, he didn't require sleep so there was really no sense in him laying in bed staring at her all night. Usually he waited until she was sleeping. She figured maybe he'd gotten another one of those things he'd jokingly referred to as a phone call.

She sighed and stretched out, crossing her hands behind her head. She was tired, dozy but not sleepy. Plus she had to worry about what was coming. It seemed to get more real with each passing day.

But it didn't make much sense. How would she be meeting some psycho stranger? She didn't have a job, she had no real reason to go out anywhere. Clearly the guy didn't just throw a dart at a map – he had a pattern. Didn't that require research, or at least a little bit of knowledge ahead of time? Or was it that the thing driving the person just knew?

All of it was confusing. And Mark had tried but still wasn't sure exactly how any of it worked. At best, he was guessing. Normally that would bother her but she trusted him. He had her best interests at heart and she fully believed it.

CJ finally rolled onto her side and grabbed the pillow he'd been using, snuggling up to it. She felt weird. She had no idea why, or what was going on but something just seemed to be _off_. Maybe it was because she didn't have a job to go to. Or maybe because she was in the midst of an affair with a person who claimed he was dead. That was something she hadn't really explored. CJ smiled sleepily. She figured that was the least of her problems.


	16. Chapter 16

16-

The next morning CJ got up early. There was no reason for it she just couldn't lay there anymore. She'd spent a rough night, unable to stay asleep, and when she did sleep she had the craziest nightmares and dreams. She couldn't remember any of them though.

That strange feeling was still with her. Even as she took a shower CJ still didn't know what was wrong with her. There was nothing really wrong with her, that was what was making her crazy. Considering the bad things that happened, specifically the fire at the bar, CJ figured that she was doing pretty good for herself. She had no reason to feel strange. The feeling persisted all morning. She was starting to wonder if she was coming down was something.

Even Jackie noticed. When Mark hadn't reappeared by lunchtime, CJ headed into town and stopped by to pick up Jackie for lunch. They had just slid into a booth when Jackie looked at her, expression full of concern.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." CJ said, eyebrow raised.

"You sure?"

"Well yeah." She shrugged. "Everything is fine."

"You have this look about you. Kind of like…I don't know…" Jackie narrowed her eyes, thinking. "I wish I could explain it."

CJ nodded. "Me too. I've been feeling kind of weird since last night. Not _sick _weird. Just not myself. Ugh. I didn't know it was obvious."

"It's not an obvious thing." Jackie assured her.

"Maybe it's delayed reaction. From the fire." CJ shrugged again. "You seemed to have bounced back."

"Of course. Nothing keeps me down for long. Except it's going to kill me to wear long pants until my knees heal up."

CJ smirked. "I'm sure you'll do fine. Tight jeans. And just show off the girls a little more."

"I plan to." Jackie looked down at her rather sedate t-shirt. "Did Kyle call you?"

"Not that I know of." CJ said. The waitress appeared and they ordered before continuing the conversation.

"He called me this morning. Wanted to know if I had seen anybody strange in the kitchen the night of the fire."

"Strange? Strange how? Every cook he had was a weirdo."

"Ha. Yeah. Not strange-weird. Strange like somebody we didn't know."

CJ shook her head. "The place was packed. I don't know every single person who was at the bar. Why? Does he think it was deliberate or something?"

"The insurance people do. Apparently."

"Who the hell would go into a busy kitchen with witnesses and start a fire?" CJ asked rhetorically.

"Beats me." Jackie answered it anyway. "Kyle said the insurance people might be trying to delay paying off the damage. You know…drag out an investigation for no reason, nitpick the whole thing, probably slam him for some code violations that they can't prove now because there's nothing left of the place."

"But he doesn't believe it, obviously. Because he's asking if you saw somebody weird."

"He said he saw something on surveillance."

"If he's got in recorded then why bother asking?" CJ asked with a snort.

"I asked the same thing. And he said it's weird because the guy is kind of blurry. Everything else is in focus. But it didn't look like anybody Kyle knew. He said the guy was standing by the grill for a few minutes, then left. A minute later the whole thing went up in smoke."

"Even if it was some random person the insurance would still have to pay."

"Not unless they thought it was Kyle doing it himself."

"Ah. Well that sucks."

"Ok. See, there really is something wrong with you. This would qualify as an actual mystery, and normally you'd jump all over it and ask a million questions and probably drive Kyle bat-shit insane until it got straightened out for future book use. Instead you're just like…whatever." Jackie waved a hand at her.

"Sorry. I'll try harder to put my nose into Kyle's business."

"Even your sarcasm is off. What gives?"

"Nothing. I don't know." The waitress brought their food and drinks. Jackie watched as CJ took a huge bite of her burger. "What?" As rude as it was to talk with a mouth full of food, CJ did it anyway.

"Did you skip breakfast?"

CJ swallowed. "Geez, is this your not so subtle way of trying to replace my mother?"

Jackie grinned. "Maybe."

"I had breakfast, thank you. I'm just hungry. I wonder if Kyle would give me a copy of his surveillance video." CJ thought out loud. She mostly wondered if Mark would want to take a look at it. The answer to that was probably a yes.

"That sounds more like my Ceej." Jackie took a sedate bite of the salad she'd ordered. "And I don't know. Maybe?"

"I'll call him when I get back home."CJ said, focusing on her food again. They finished their lunch and CJ dropped Jackie back at her apartment.

"You still aren't quite right." Jackie said before she opened the car door.

"Thanks a bunch." CJ rolled her eyes.

"Admit I'm right." Jackie persisted.

"You're right." CJ admitted it readily. She sighed. "I've been feeling kind of off the last couple of days. Guess I just don't know what to do with myself if I don't have the bar to go to."

"Easy fix. Come work with me!"

"I'll think about it. Give me a couple more days to decide." She gestured at the door and Jackie laughed and got out. She waved goodbye and CJ headed for her own house, lost in thought.

Of course she didn't see the other car coming. She had pulled to a stop at the four-way that led to her house when she was jarred hard enough to lock her seat belt around her. It took all of three seconds for the shock of it to pass and anger to flood through her. The car was, yes, just a car but it was _hers_, something she had worked her ass off in order to buy. And some random idiot just rear ended her in broad daylight on a barely used road.

CJ got out, ready to spit nails. She got as far as the Charger's rear bumper when she tripped on her own feet and almost fell down. Because not only had her car been hit and presumably damaged by an idiot driving a black pickup truck – the idiot turned out to be somebody she knew.

She should have known him. She'd spent the past few days spending more time in bed with him than out of it. It was Mark. He looked different again; the black hair had come back, although this time it was much longer. He had it tied back in a braid. He was also wearing all black clothing, including a pair of sunglasses so dark that she couldn't see his eyes.

"Sorry…I was reading my directions and…" He was holding a piece of paper which clearly had handwritten notes on it. CJ frowned.

"What the fuck, Mark?" She was still too in shock to really make sense of it. He raised an eyebrow and she assumed he was studying her. She couldn't tell other than his sunglasses were pointed in her direction.

"How do you know my name? Have we met?"

CJ gaped at him. "Ok. You rear ended me. Did you hit your head when it happened or something?"

He looked confused. "Uh…no. Look, lady. I was only doing about ten miles an hour. I don't think I messed up your car _that_ bad…" He indicated the rear bumper.

"Lady?"

He tilted his head. Now she was sure he was studying her. "I'm pretty sure I'd remember meeting you." He spoke in a low voice, almost to himself. "I've only been in town since last night. Still trying to figure out why so little shit is spread out over such a big area. So yeah. I was checking my directions and I looked up and…there was your car." He gestured at the bumper again.

CJ spared it a look. It wasn't horrible. There were a few scratches and some dents. Nothing a body shop couldn't pound out in a couple of hours anyway. But that was not the point.

"Ok. Hold on. Why are you acting all weird?"

"Me? Darlin', I have _no_ idea what you're talkin' about." He produced a pen from the chest pocket of the black shirt he was wearing. "But I'm kinda in a rush. So how about we just swap info and I'll pay for your damage?"

CJ watched as he pulled a black leather wallet out of his back pocket. He shuffled through a few business cards before pulling one out and scribbling on the back of it. He turned to her and held it out. CJ was too stunned to do more than take it from him.

"You wanna give me your info so I can call my insurance guy?" He finally said when she made no move. CJ finally shrugged and reached into her window for her purse. She had no business cards – what would they say? Freelance waitress? – but she did have small spiral notebooks. She had to flip through two before she found one that had some blank pages. She wrote down her name and phone number. As far as she was concerned that was all the information the guy would need. Plus something just felt off. The guy was Mark, all day long. He hadn't denied it. But for some reason he had no clue who she was.

She held out the paper and after he took it CJ reached out and poked him on the arm. He looked surprised.

"What was that for?"

"Making sure you're real." She knew she was not making a lick of sense. But she couldn't help it.

"Uh. Right." He seemed not to know what to add to that. He finally recovered though. "Did you hit _your_ head? I only ask because you aren't making a lick of sense."

CJ raised her eyebrows at that, at him repeating her thought. "Ok. Are you just fucking with me now or what?"

He took a step back and held up his hands. "Darlin', I promise you I have no clue what the hell is going on right now other than I fucked up and dinged your car."

"Yeah. Ok. So when I get home I'm not going to find you standing there waiting on me acting all innocent?"

"That would be kind of hard. Considerin' I have no idea where you live…" He glanced at the paper in his hand. "CJ?"

"Yes. I'm CJ. You know that though."

"How would I know that? I've never seen you before." He sounded absolutely sure of that. "I haven't even been in town a full day yet. Unless you've spent any time around Houston or Austin I don't think we'd have had a reason to bump into each other." He glanced at the dents in her bumper. "Or for me to run into you. So just get in touch with my insurance guy on that card, I'll pay for the damages, and I'll just be on my way."

CJ could only stand there and watch him go back to his truck. He glanced back at her twice, both times completely unreadable thanks to the sunglasses. She hated it when she couldn't see a person's eyes. It always made her feel suspicious. He checked for traffic – which was completely nonexistent this time of day – before backing up and swinging wide to go around her car. He lifted his hand at her but CJ didn't bother waving back. She watched as he turned left, which was heading back toward town and away from her house.

She was half tempted to follow him. Instead she looked down at the card she still held in her hand. The front was what she would have jokingly referred to as business-generic. An insurance agent's name and phone number were listed, along with a dozen other various means of contacting him. She flipped it over and saw he had written down his phone number, his policy number, and his name. His full name. She looked at it for several long moments before numbly getting back into her car.

She still considered going after him but she could no longer see his truck on the road. He could make any number of turns before hitting town. And while it was small, she didn't plan on spending all day wandering around looking for him. He'd be back at her house soon enough. And he'd have some explaining to do. She looked at the card once more. It was odd, that he'd given her a last name. He had said before that he couldn't remember. Unless he'd just made it up. She finally put her car into drive and turned toward her house. Maybe she'd look him up. She could run a search just to see what popped up. He didn't have to know she'd done it.

But he could read her mind, so then again he'd probably know anyway. She was still puzzling over it when she pulled into her driveway, fully expecting to see a black truck. There was nothing. She didn't have to call out to know that she was alone in the house either. It just felt empty. CJ made sure she still had the business card in her hand as she headed up to her computer. Since Mark was busy doing whatever it was that he did when he wasn't with her – she now assumed he randomly drove around town – she'd do a bit of research. She figured she probably shouldn't. One of her grandmother's favorite sayings had always been 'curiosity killed the cat'. CJ had agreed with her more out of habit than anything else. She believed curiosity was as much a part of daily life as breathing or sleeping. And once again, if she had an itch she scratched it. It applied to so many things in life. Even if she was afraid of what she might discover, CJ still felt like she had to know. If she came back empty handed, at least she could say she tried. She sat down at her computer and waited for it to load, tapping the business card's edge against the top of her desk impatiently.


	17. Chapter 17

17-

CJ was tempted to call the number on the card but she made herself wait. And wait. And wait. Mark didn't reappear until she was getting ready for bed. The short red hair was back. CJ found she wasn't the least bit surprised. And she didn't ask where he'd been because she'd get the same answer he always gave.

Her research into the card he'd given her ran into nothing at all. As far as she could tell, the Mark who had run into her today had been living in Texas and was into real estate development. He was also in his mid-30s. Other than that, there had been nothing.

Mark was waiting in the bedroom when she walked in. "Busy day?" Was her only comment. Mark smiled and shrugged.

"The usual. Yours?"

She debated for a moment, as she had throughout the day, then figured what the hell – it couldn't hurt if he knew. "Good. Until I got into a car accident."

The smile faded. It was replaced by a look of complete concern. "Accident?"

"Yup. Somebody ran into the back of my car." CJ pulled her blankets down and sat on the edge of the bed.

"And you're all right?"

"It wasn't anything major." She paused. "Of course, it was sort of strange considering that the guy who was driving the other car was you."

Mark frowned. "Me?"

"Maybe your twin brother." CJ rubbed the back of her neck.

"I don't have a twin brother. I think." Mark's frown deepened.

"I thought it was you. Screwing with my head."

"Why would I do that?" Mark asked.

"Beats me. I guess it wasn't. But the resemblance is dead on." CJ looked up at him. "Except for the hair. And he probably thought I was insane."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…I thought it was you. And obviously he wasn't you."

"No shit." Mark sat next to her and reached out, laying his hand against her neck. He rubbed lightly. "In case you haven't noticed…I don't even drive."

"That thought had crossed my mind." Why would Mark need to drive when he could just pop up anywhere? "Anyway, my car got a few dents and I've been confused all day." She sighed when his fingers found a sore spot on her neck.

"I'm sorry. If I had been around I guess I could have prevented it or…something." He sounded unsure though. "I can't figure it out though. Why would there be somebody around who looks enough like me to pass as me?"

"You tell me, we'll both know." CJ yawned. "I didn't even bother watching the news today."

"It's all right. We can check it in the morning. You should get some rest."

"Yeah. I know it. Such a busy life I lead needs all this sleep to sustain it." But CJ was tired. More tired than she had been in a long time.

"You've had a busy couple of weeks." Mark pointed out. He stopped rubbing her neck and moved so she could crawl between her blankets. Once she was tucked in he shut off the lights and climbed into bed next to her. CJ snuggled up against him, letting her eyes close. And it seemed that was all she had done. When she opened her eyes again sunlight was streaming in through the window and Mark was no longer in bed with her.

CJ got up with a sigh and spent a few minutes detangling her hair and putting on her robe. It was just past nine. She stretched and headed down the stairs, thinking she'd make breakfast then take her car into town and get the damage checked before it completely slipped her mind.

Mark was in the living room, watching some morning news program. He looked at her, concerned for a moment but it faded into his usual half-smile. "Mornin'."

"Yeah." She agreed. It was morning after all. CJ needed some caffeine. She had just pulled a can of soda from the fridge when she realized that odd feeling of not being quite right was still clinging to her. Apparently she'd been too distracted to notice it until now. She sighed and opened the can before taking a deep drink. She wasn't nearly as hungry as she had been so she grabbed a cereal bar and stood in the archway that led to the living room, studying Mark as he watched the news. "Anything new?"

Mark shook his head. "No. Nothing else about that story in the paper either. It's weird."

"Yeah. There's a lot of that going on around here lately." CJ said in a wry voice. Mark was saved from answering by the phone ringing. He frowned at it as CJ went to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Hi. I'm looking for CJ." The male voice was hesitant. And familiar. CJ turned to look at Mark as she held the phone to her ear.

"This is CJ."

"Ah. Uh. Well I don't know if you remember me but we kind of met yesterday…"

She didn't need him to remind her. She would know his voice anywhere. "Right. You were the one that hit my car."

"Purely an accident, I promise." He sounded amused. "You gave me your number."

"Right. For accident reporting purposes."

"And you haven't called my insurance guy yet."

"I was getting ready to deal with that. On my schedule, not yours." She couldn't help but sound annoyed.

"I understand that. But I was wondering if you would maybe want to meet up and have lunch with me."

That dried up any smart remarks CJ would have thrown out. She felt as if she were losing her mind. Here was Mark sitting on her couch, watching TV, one ear tuned into her conversation. And then again, here was Mark on her phone asking her out on a lunch date.

"I feel kinda bad about runnin' off after yesterday. I was late to a meeting." He went on, filling in her silence. "Plus…you acted like you knew who I was. I got curious."

"Curious. Ok." CJ was still trying to process it.

"Do you always do this?"

"Do what?" CJ asked, clueless about what he meant.

"Repeat things."

"I guess. I don't know. I'm thinking."

He chuckled. "So…lunch?"

"Um…I don't know. Today might not be…" CJ paused. That was a lie. She had just been planning on going to town to get her car looked at anyway. She looked at Mark again. He had turned and was looking at her, his expression carefully neutral. "I don't think I'll have the time."

"Oh." He packed a lot of disappointment into that single syllable. "Maybe tomorrow?"

"Maybe. I'll have to let you know."

"Good. You have my number."

"Yeah. It's on your card."

"Ok. Well…hope to hear from you."

CJ hung up slowly. She was still eying Mark. "You got most of that." Mark nodded. "That would be your twin."

"Asking you out. I'd try to be jealous but I can't seem to find it in me."

"My theory about it being you screwing with me is kinda blown out the window. What the hell is going on?" CJ dropped the phone and joined him on the couch.

"I wish I knew."

"You could go to town with me. And meet him."

"I don't think that would be a very good idea." Mark reached out and brushed her hair back from her face.

"Why not?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Just a feeling."

"So how many of you do you think are just wandering around out there?" CJ asked, meaning it as a joke.

"Apparently at least one." Mark said, his tone serious. He sighed. "I don't understand it. I also think this is happening at the worst possible time."

"And why is that?"

"Because it's getting close. Fate. And it feels like a lot of other stuff is just…a distraction."

"For the rest of us it's called real life." CJ gave him an exasperated look. "Apparently I can't just hide here all the time. I refuse to lock myself away. So yeah, I guess random distractions are going to happen. Why are you not more curious about some guy who is basically you?"

"Because it doesn't matter."

"Oh really? Your apparent twin shows up and it doesn't matter?"

"No. Because even if there were two of me watching out for you I still wouldn't be any closer to figuring out how to protect you from what's coming."

"Well. That's pleasant." CJ pushed his hand away and got to her feet, ignoring his surprised look. "I still have to get my car looked at. Shit isn't going to take care of itself just because I have to hide. Don't worry. I know the guy at the garage. So it's not like he's going to be a stranger."

"CJ…" Mark rose as well and still looked at her as if she had surprised him. She stopped at the foot of the stairs and looked back at him.

"What?"

"Are you all right?"

"Well yeah. I'm peachy. Why?"

"You just seem…a little short-tempered." He seemed not to know how to finish.

CJ frowned at that. "Aside from the abundance of sex, I am not having the greatest week." She wondered if she should tell him about that weird off feeling that still persisted then decided not to bother. She figured that it was just knowing an invisible ax was swinging toward her neck. Or something equally horrible. All Mark's talk about fate and events being unchangeable, plus the pattern of fires that they had discovered – anybody would feel weird about it.

He seemed to have nothing to say to that. CJ continued up the stairs to get ready to leave. Mark didn't offer to go with her, which did not surprise her in the least. He went from being overprotective and overbearing to standoffish and hermit-like. Actually she figured he was going to be snooping into more news stories. Their guy was probably due for one more fire before he got to CJ.

That was not comforting at all. She pushed the thoughts aside and headed to town. She handed her car keys over to Robbie Burke, another guy she knew from school that owned the body shop. CJ thought for the first time that this little town seemed to get smaller all the time. She practically knew everybody. It was sort of depressing.

She spent thirty minute in what passed for a waiting room at the body shop before she got antsy. She had left Mark's insurance information with Robbie so he could call them with a quote, which left her with nothing to do while he tinkered with her car. So she walked around the block, window shopping. Or making a target out of herself. That thought kept on crossing her mind.

"Great. Paranoia right on schedule." She muttered to herself.

"Talking to yourself gets to be a habit too." The deep voice from right beside her made CJ jump. She turned and once again without any surprise saw Mark standing there. Not _her_ Mark, the other one, the guy who had hit her car. He was still wearing his sunglasses, and was still dressed head to toe in black. CJ frowned at him.

"I wasn't talking to myself. I was thinking out loud."

"Hm." He made a low noise and half-smiled. And even that was exactly the same.

"I'm starting to wonder if you're stalking me." CJ said when he didn't offer to speak again.

"Either that or the universe is trying to tell me something." He slid his hands into his pockets looked at the store they were standing in front of. CJ wasn't going to touch that statement with a ten foot pole. She waited him out. "So...how bad was the damage?"

CJ frowned. "What?"

"Your car?"

"Oh. I don't know. They're checking it now."

"Oh. Good. Then you probably have time to grab lunch with me."

CJ's frown deepened. "Why would I want to do that?"

"Because it beats roaming around until your car is ready?" He smirked, not put out at all by her surly attitude. "Plus I have to admit – I've been thinking about you since yesterday."

"Am I supposed to be flattered?"

"No. I'm just being honest." He shrugged his shoulders. "You acted like you knew me. Guess it made me curious if maybe we did know each other and I just couldn't remember."

"Believe me, I've never met you."

"You knew my name."

"Prove it." CJ refused to acknowledge it.

He smiled again. "You're just making yourself more interesting. As weird as that sounds."

"Fabulous." CJ sighed and pushed her hair back over her shoulders. She also glanced around, noting that Mark's truck was nowhere to be seen. "_If_ I let you buy me lunch it doesn't mean I won't still make you pay for hitting my car."

"Darlin' I have no problem with that. Like I said…that was my fault."

"All right. But don't expect me to be entertaining. Or pleasant. I'm in a rotten mood."

"I hadn't noticed." He smiled. "You're a local. Where do you want to go eat?"

CJ sighed and shrugged. "Doesn't matter. Somewhere close so I can keep an eye on the progress." She didn't know why the guy was taking such an interest in her, especially since she'd done nothing but talk like a crazy person in his presence. Of course there was only one way to find out, and that was to spend some time with him to try to figure out exactly what was going on.


	18. Chapter 18

18-

Actually it was pretty damned confusing.

CJ already knew Mark. Well. As much as she could know anybody who claimed to not remember anything, and claimed he was dead, and claimed he was in love with her.

The Mark who had managed to rear end her car was pretty much the opposite. CJ had questioned him throughout lunch, finding out more about him over the course of an hour than she knew about some people she had known her whole life. He was thirty four, the youngest of four boys. He'd dropped out of college to run a friend's garage, then he'd saved enough money to buy his own. And he'd expanded into other things as well. He didn't even really work anymore – he jokingly referred to himself as a perpetual silent partner. He'd been married and divorced, too young to make it work, no kids, but with almost a dozen nieces and nephews it hadn't bothered him a bit to be the childless brother.

Some people might have thought he was too restless to settle on a job or career, and aimless. CJ knew it for what it was. Fear of boredom. Why get locked into doing one thing for the rest of his life when he could dabble in a little of everything? It was the main reason that she worked as a waitress and wrote at the same time. She never got bored that way.

It was interesting anyway. He seemed happy enough to talk about himself. He'd worked in questions about CJ as well, in roundabout ways. It would have been funny if she'd been in a better mood. He walked with her back to the body shop, in no apparent hurry to move on with his day.

CJ had tried to say goodbye to him at the diner, but he'd steamrolled right over it and had grabbed her hand to lead her outside. She figured he would put up a fight if she tried to tell him to get lost, so she pulled her hand away from him and sighed, resigned to his company for at least a little while longer but not wanting to get too familiar, as ridiculous as that sounded. She had no idea how to classify her relationship to the Mark she already knew versus this guy, and didn't need the imagined guilt on top of everything else.

Robbie didn't ease her mind. "Had to order the paint but it'll be here in the morning."

"Great. So it took all this time for you to tell me that I'm without a car until next year sometime?"

Robbie grinned. "Tomorrow by closing. I'm working on the dents. It's the paint. We don't carry that color." He cast a curious look in Mark's direction. CJ made a face.

"He's the guy who did the damage." CJ said instead of introducing them. She filled out paperwork while the two men talked details. She didn't even catch the total. Any other time the damage to the car would have driven her crazy; as it was she found that she just could not get worked up about it. It was just a car.

"We have a loaner you can use." Robbie pointed out. He winked at CJ. "Free of charge."

"If you're referring to that piece of junk truck out back, I'd rather walk thanks." It was no secret that Robbie kept a couple of old barely drivable vehicles around just in case someone was in dire need.

"I could get you a rental." Mark said. In fact he was already digging through his wallet, and pulled out another business card.

"Nope. Not necessary. I'll just go home and then Robbie or one of his flunkies can bring me the car tomorrow." She eyed Robbie. He grinned and nodded.

"The duchess has spoken." Robbie said with a snort. He turned to file the papers she'd signed.

"Duchess?" Mark asked with a smirk.

"High school." CJ said, figuring that was explanation enough. She couldn't remember why Robbie had started calling her that but she did remember that it had caught on briefly. There were worse things to be known as. She stepped back outside and contemplated walking home. She should have at least made Robbie give her a lift but she still wasn't thinking straight.

"Need a ride home?" It did not surprise her at all that Mark had followed her outside.

"What I need is a replacement for my malfunctioning brain." She sighed heavily. "Sure. I guess." He already had her phone number. No harm in him finding out her address. He led the way to his truck. CJ gave him directions to her house and let her head rest against the seat with her eyes closed. Maybe she was just tired.

"So how about dinner?"

"You just ate lunch." She didn't open her eyes.

"I meant later." Mark said, and she was pretty sure he was smiling when he said it. She also knew he'd probably put his sunglasses back on. He'd finally pushed them to the top of his head inside the diner, and CJ was unsurprised to find his eyes were exactly the same as well. She didn't know what she had been expecting. Even the tattoos were the same, as far as she could tell.

"Don't you have better things to do? Business deals and whatever?"

"Sure. But not around dinnertime."

"Well. I limit myself to one meal with a stranger a day. So you're shit outta luck." CJ opened her eyes as he pulled to a stop in her driveway. And there was her other Mark sitting on the front porch. He was looking at the truck, mild curiosity on his features. The Mark driving did not seem to notice him.

"Ah. That means my luck will be better tomorrow." He was smirking. "So I'll call you and we can make solid plans."

CJ groaned and rolled her eyes. "Are you always this hardheaded?"

He shrugged. "I can be."

"I wasn't implying that I wanted to go out again."

"I know. I also know that you might be the most interesting person I've ever met."

CJ snorted a laugh. "Then you need to get out more." She opened her door and slid out of the truck before he got any bright ideas about getting out himself. "Thanks for lunch. See ya."

He still looked amused. CJ shook her head and refused to watch him leave. She had been nothing but rude to the man and he'd laughed it off all afternoon. It was weird. Maybe he liked to be abused. There was a thought.

"So that was him." Mark said as she walked onto the porch.

"Yeah. The you double. Why are you not more curious?"

"Because it doesn't surprise me." Mark's red hair was braided and he was sporting a white t-shirt and jeans. "The feeling is getting stronger. That all of this has happened before. And maybe you're meant to be with him." He nodded in the direction that the truck had gone.

"Mark…"

"I'm complicating things." He did not let her finish. "I should have kept to myself. I could have just protected you from the sidelines as best I could and then let nature take its course. Now you have all these weird _doubts _in your head and they all go back to me. I'm sorry. I knew there would be consequences, but I thought they'd all fall on me."

"Whoa." CJ held her hand up. "Ok. Maybe I'm tired or something but why are you so ready to blame yourself for shit that you have nothing to do with? I thought you knew me. You should know that I have weird shit in my head all the time."

"Nothing like this." He shook his head. "And it's like there are more voices. More thoughts and ideas now. I feel like I'm losing you."

"But…"

"I have to go for a while." He stood up, once more steamrolling whatever CJ had been about to say. "I'll be back before dark though." He didn't wait for her to answer. Instead he just faded out, leaving CJ to gape at her empty front porch.

"What the hell was that all about?" CJ asked it out loud. She stood there for several minutes feeling the sun bake into her skin before heading into the house, more confused than she had been before. How could Mark feel like he was losing her? She was right here. He hadn't seemed to care about the other Mark – it seemed more that he was reading something in her that she wasn't even aware of thinking. And what had he meant about voices? She was the first to admit that she had interior monologues all the time and when she was writing sometimes she thought about her characters as real and would brainstorm them into random situations but she hadn't done that lately.

Frustrated, she wished she had told Robbie to forget fixing the car. She wanted to take a drive and clear her mind. Instead of that she went out onto the back porch and took a few deep breaths.

"Ok. Woman who claims she's on Mark's side." CJ addressed the empty porch without thinking. "Lucky. Maybe you want to throw your two cents into this shit?"

"I'd love to." The voice from her left made CJ jump. Lucky was sitting at the small table. Her face was carefully neutral but CJ was good at reading people's eyes – it was how she could tell who was going to be trouble at the bar – and she could see that Lucky was troubled about something.

"So what, do you just hang out around here too where nobody can see you?" CJ sank down in the empty chair.

"Nope. But I can hear when someone is talking to me."

"Do you have any idea what's going on?"

"With Mark? Or the other Mark?" Lucky asked, completely serious.

"Both. Either."

"Well that's the problem." Lucky cleared her throat. "Neither of them are technically supposed to be here."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you shouldn't be seeing the Mark you already know because you aren't supposed to know he exists. And the human version is definitely _not_ supposed to run into you when you have the guardian version watching over you."

"Why not?"

"I wasn't there but let me assume that the version that you've seen today is pushy? Seems to be very attracted and fascinated by you? Won't take no for an answer?"

"Yes. Yes, and yes again. I'm flattered but freaked out."

"I told you, the two of you keep managing to find each other. And something obviously drove this version of him here, to meet you. As far as I know you were not meant to meet him this time around. You have a fate event that would prevent it."

"But it hasn't happened yet." CJ frowned in confusion.

"I know. The real question is what drove him to show up here of all places? And right now?" Lucky chewed thoughtfully on her bottom lip. "He's not one of my charges. I don't know who is guarding or guiding him."

"But if Mark is already my guardian or whatever, how can he be alive and here now?"

"That's the real problem. Because he's not supposed to be. Maybe the guardian version coming here threw off the timeline." Lucky said that mostly to herself. "Or maybe Mark himself drew him here."

"But why?"

"I don't know. There'd be no point in it." Lucky leaned across the table. "I could fuse them. If they are the same person – and I am sensing that they are – it would be simple enough for me to put guardian Mark inside human Mark so they are a single individual."

"But why would you do that?"

"So he could live again. I told you, if you survived then I would let the two of you carry on normal lives. That would be the simplest way to do it."

"Simple?" CJ scoffed at the idea.

"Simple in terms a lot of other things I've done before."

"Mark didn't see him. The living one in the truck."

"Of course. If they are the same person, the living one can't see the dead one. It would be like seeing your own ghost." Lucky visibly shuddered as if the thought had scared her.

"None of this is making any sense."

"Because you care for him. Somewhere inside you, there are memories of the two of you that are as much a part of you as your eye color or your bone structure. You care for your guardian. I won't go so far as to say that you love him, because even though I know that you have in the past and you will again, you would just deny it. Maybe you think you _can't_ love Mark because he's not a normal man."

"This is not making anything any better." CJ groaned and pressed her hands against her forehead. She had a headache forming. "Mark thinks he's losing me. I don't understand what he means by that either."

"It could mean anything. It could be that he knows that he will have to give you up to make way for the human version. Or it could be that in terms of time, this past week has felt like years and he is no closer to you than he has been before. Time is different for us, remember."

"Years?" CJ said weakly.

"Yes."

"He never said a word."

"He didn't want to push you. He understands that time is different for us. But he took the risk anyway. Love makes people do all kinds of crazy things." Lucky smiled although it was sad. "I will talk to him. I can offer him the deal again. I'll even offer to merge him with the Mark you met, although I think he'll say no. He's punishing himself already and he hasn't failed yet."

No wonder she looked sad. CJ suddenly felt like crying. She also felt like she could ask a million questions and still be no closer to understanding any of this. "I think I'm going to go make friends with a bottle of aspirin and then lay down for a while."

Lucky nodded. "I'll speak with Mark. If you need me, I'll hear you." With that she winked out. CJ got wearily to her feet and resolutely pushed everything out of her mind. She'd thought herself into a headache. Maybe it would start making sense after she got some rest.


End file.
